On Traditional Female Stereotypes
by Erika Cantrell
" Does it all start with closets? When I was a teenager I would go into my mother's closet when she was out and try on her clothes. She had a strapless long-line bra with a dozen tiny hooks and eyes down the back. The cups were so stiff they stood up by themselves; I didn't need tits to fill them. Hooking myself into the bra was my favorite part of the dress-up, slowly, painstakingly fixing the look onto my body, becoming the woman to be looked at . . . Becoming the object of my own gaze. I'd slip my mother's black low-cut cocktail dress on over the bra . . . posing for the mirror, constructing the look that spelled sex to me. In the bathroom I'd rummage in her makeup. The mascara that came in a flat cake that you had to wet before you could coat the tiny brush with it . . . The Madame du Barry powder in the oval peach and pink box . . . There was a bottle of foundation lotion, beige, thick, and creamy. I would smooth it on, completely coating my face . . . and then carefully apply drops of water at the corners of my eyes so they would run furrows through the mask of makeup. The tracks of my homemade tears."
Pretty hot stuff, huh? There goes Erika again, exposing her inner most thoughts to the world,right? Actually, wrong!
These sentences are the reflections of Wendy Frost, an acknowledged femme lesbian, in The Femme Mystique, edited by Lesle Newman. However, the similarity to memories of my own childhood (and events described in hundreds if not thousands of pieces of transgender fiction) is uncanny . . . even down to the detail of my MomŐs longline bra and black cocktail dress. (Believe me, I REMEMBER THE DRESS . . . I tore out the zipper in a PANIC when I realized that my parents had returned home early from a weekend outing!)
Well, why is " dressing up" such an important part of the life of so many transgendered people, at least during the early stages of their evolution. Even now, at a time when I'll usually opt for flats rather than heels, Levis rather than a skirt, and as little makeup as I feel I can get away with . . . I have to admit that itŐs still exciting to go out for an evening " dressed to the max" , to slide open a virgin tube of lipstick, to pop in a new pair of earrings, or to slip into a silky nightgown after a hot perfumed bath. What's really going on here?!?
I certainly recognize the dangers of the " beauty myth" , how it has been used to the detriment of women. I also have some appreciation of how sexual stereotypes and older visions of femininity were often used by men to restrain female power or perpetuate a female under class. As an aspiring " new woman" looking at the economic and social realities of the world, I find this intellectually distasteful. So why do I find it so difficult to avoid engaging in sex-role stereotyped or " gender-restricted" patterns of behavior?
In some respects the experiences recounted above don't seem too dissimilar from those of many young girls, as they begin to emulate their mothers and come to terms with their own gender identity. Certainly I've heard women of my generation describe the excitement of acquiring their first bra, of wearing makeup for the first time, of wearing their first really the dressy dress, or of putting on something really sexy in anticipation of a special evening. Could it be in the genes . . .you know a lipstick gene closely linked to a gene for high heels? Is it part of some female gender identity locus that's usually inactive in biologic males and sometimes inactivated in females as a consequence of prolonged exposure to obnoxious men or feminist philosophy? Hardly seems likely does it?
It's difficult for me to see how most of these purported gender-specific attributes, are anything more than contemporary social constructions. From my reading, I know that there have been times in history when men have worn more makeup and higher heels than women, and when the " manliest" and most powerful of men preferred elaborate hair styles, lacy clothing, and the finest perfumes and jewelry. Many of the most frequently used and provocative commercial symbols of female sexuality did not even exist until the late 19th or 20th century . . . from brassieres, lace-trimmed satin slips, and stilleto heels to tube lipstick and wand mascara. Likewise, many of the Western world's most influential (and perhaps most dangerous) female stereotypes trace their origins to television's early years. . . Donna Reed (the perfect wife and mother), Loretta Young (a true beauty, never a hair out of place), June Cleaver (love that shirt-waist dress, June . . . and by the way your kitchen is immaculate!), Samantha Stevens (bewitching nose . . . but how'd you ever fall in love with Darren anyway?), and of course, Genie (cuuuute outfit!!!! Yes, Master . . .po!).
Given that the way we express our gender is - at least to some degree - independent of biologic sex and sexual orientation, we are left with a question. What determines how we dress? Is an attraction to " feminine display" just a common attribute of individuals (male or female) that have identified - possibly through their mother - with images of femininity perpetuated by society?Does the clothing we wear reflect a subconscious desire to acquire other qualities we see in those we identify with? After all, individuals in many societies have adorned themselves with the furs, horns, or claws of animals possessing characteristics they would like to be endowed with. (Honey,you'll never see me carrying a rhinoceros horn on my belt!!!! You do know about rhino horns don't you?).
Is feminine dress a way of expressing a need to feel attractive? Is it a way of declaring our sexual preferences (e.g., submissive vs. dominant) within very specific social contexts? Or in some cases is it simply an aesthetic preference?
Certainly, for some transgendered people, such as myself, there is also a need to inform others of how we perceive our own gender . . . a way of telling others how we see ourselves in relation to social convention and the prevailing sexual stereotypes. If I were to go out with my hair cut short, no makeup, and a business suit (please, please no . . . don't make me do it!!) I'd look like a somewhat effeminate guy . . . but still a guy! Pull down my hair and throw on some lipstick and earrings (feel'n better!!) and 99% of the time they'll call me ŇMa'amÓ (or " Miss" when I really get lucky!). To be perceived as a female person by those who don't know me, I still need the help of additional visual cues. Wish is wasn't so, but who said life was fair!
So, can you answer the question . . . what does this transgendered male have in common with a high femme lesbian and a " Ladue housewife" ? Gosh I don't know . . . let's go shopping and find out!!! (I can't believe I said that!!!!)
Edited 12/4/96