GENDER BENDER BLUES
Dedicated to the St. Louis Gender Foundation

When I was growin' up I very quickly learned
That anybody different was gonna get burned.
We all had to look alike, and we had to act the same,
'Cause if you weren't like everybody else, they'd trash your name.
Your color or religion or the way that you dressed
Could make your life a heaven or a hell of a mess;
And if you had your doubts about your gender role.
You'd better keep it quiet, or they'd damn your soul.

Well, they could not accept you and they could not accept "them";
You didn't fit their image, so you couldn't win,
But if you hid your real self and didn't make any fuss,
Well, they might accept you - just not very much.

You made a lot of effort, and you learned to play the game
And you tried to fit in and tried to cover the shame
Of knowing you were different from everybody else,
So you hid from who you really were and buried yourself.
And once in awhile, you'd think you made a friend,
But then you told the truth and watched the friendship end.
They turned away or beat you up or even worse,
Or they might've patronized you with this ugly little verse:

Well, I'll accept you but I wont accept them;
Don't want to talk to fellas who act a little femme;
Won't shake hands with butch women - I'm afraid of their touch,
But I'll accept you - just not very much.

And so you moved away and then you found a few
More others who were different and a lot like you;
But then within the group they tore each other apart,
And you were back at square one with a broken heart.
You were older and wiser, and you tried to make a life,
So you took yourself a lover, or a husband, or wife;
But as the time went by you let your secret come out,
And that's when you heard your partner or your family shout:

Well, I'll accept this but I wont accept that;
Cant tolerate a woman in a gentleman's hat;
Cant stand to see a man in mascara and blush;
But I'll accept this - just not very much.

Now, everyone's experience is different, that's true,
But we can learn a lot from what we've each been through.
We're not all the same, but we've got to stay aware
That the world belongs to you and me and others out there.
The key to survival is to learn to get along,
'Cause to turn against each other - well, that would be wrong.
If we let the hate divide us, then the bigots will win,
And that, in my opinion, is the ultimate sin:

So, I'll accept you and hope that you'll accept me,
No matter what our gender or anatomy;
We all want the same freedom that everybody wants -
Just to be ourselves - that counts very much!

Yeah, I'll accept you and hope that you'll accept me;
No matter who we are or what we happen to be,
We're all part of this unusual, incredible bunch
So let's respect each other - and thanks very much!

Lyrics and Music ©2000 by Mary A. Akers and Lor A. Jackson
Lyrics reprinted with Lor and Mary's permission

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Portions © 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 Chris Kay