Erika Cantrell

Most crossdressers - sooner or later - feel a need to venture out of their home while crossdressed. For many this is a fun and satisfying - if not exhilarating expression of their gender identity. However, it does carry risks of embarrassment, exposure, or even physical harm - particularly for the neophyte venturing out alone. For this reason, organizations such as StLGF provide a unique and relatively safe opportunity for crossdressing outside the home. They can also help novices learn skills that will allow them to crossdress more safely in public if they are so inclined.

Fortunately, crossdressing - per se - is not illegal in the city of St. Louis. However, there is always the possibility that your reason for crossdressing may be misunderstood - particularly if you go to higher crime areas or prefer overly sexy clothing. For male crossdressers restroom use can also present a problem - it only takes one intolerant and/or upset female to get you detained or arrested for disturbing the peace. To avoid this problem try to take care of business before you go out - if you must use the bathroom try to find a uni-sex or single-user facility, preferably in a private establishment (store, gas station etc.). Better yet, go to a business where you are recognized as a customer. Public restrooms in malls or parks etc. present greater risks and are more likely to get you directly involved with the police if there is a complaint. However, if you must use a restroom, use the one appropriate to your gender presentation. Get in, do your stuff, get out.

There are many CD-friendly stores - including wig shops and shoe and clothing stores in the St. Louis metropolitan area. Stores like Victoria's Secret, Shoe Stop, TJ Max, Grand Wig, and Jena 's are perennial favorites. Ask your new sisters for their preferred shopping locations. Recommendations or advertisements are also frequently published in the Gazette. Although most stores have no objection to fully crossdressed persons using the dressing rooms, it's always a good idea to check first with the sales staff. If you're carrying around a few items of merchandise - an alert salesperson will likely beat you to the punch and simply invite you to use a dressing room whether or not they recognize you as a crossdresser - after all, your money is as good as anyone else's!

Gay and lesbian bars usually present the fewest problems for nightclubbing - even for heterosexual CDs. Although new CDs may occasionally encounter some sexual overtures, it's usually not difficult to politely decline any undesired attention. Blakes seems to be the focal point of weekend CDing activity in the metropolitan area.  The Grey Fox [Spanky's] is in a relatively safe area and has regular weekend drag shows with several CDs usually in attendance. For the best in music try Attitudes at 4100 Manchester, a very popular womans' night spot.

There are many other possibilities for good transgender entertainment (check out the gay magazines like TWISL). However, the locations are potentially too dangerous to recommend to the neophyte or someone traveling alone. Magnolia's, a gay bar at 5 South Vandeventer in St. Louis, has reinstituted their upstairs drag cabaret. High quality drag shows (often with nationally known female impersonators) can be found at several establishments in East St. Louis (e.g. Faces). If you want to go to these places consider enlisting the help of a good map, driving by during the day, and attending your first show in drab.

    If you go out at night - be particularly careful walking to and from your car - be aware of your surroundings, have your keys out (if possible, be with friends) and lock the door after getting in. Take the same precautions you'd recommend for a female family member. Females and transgendered people are at a greater risk of assault and traditional female clothing can limit your ability to escape or fight back. If you are ever the victim of a "hate crime" please report the incident to StLGF and the St. Louis AntiViolence Project ( 314-367-4AVP (4287)), your anonymity will be protected.

Whenever you go out put your best foot forward. Be courteous and friendly. Try to relax, and SMILE! Respect other people's privacy and their right to disapprove of your behavior. Every positive interaction you have with business people and the general public helps promote tolerance and acceptance.

Legal Do's and Don'ts While Crossdressed

The following recommendations were adapted from guidelines published by the International Foundation of Gender Education. (IFGE). Wallet size versions of "Legal Do's & Don'ts" will be provided to members for a nominal charge.

It is important to never use a driver's license, Social Security card, or other government issued ID in any name other than your true and legal name, or to misrepresent your true (legal) sex on an application form. Obtaining government identification under false pretenses is illegal.

If you are pulled over on the road by a police officer, roll down the window and wait patiently keeping both hands in view. Be prepared to provide your license or other legal ID. Respond: "Yes, officer, that's me." if asked to acknowledge your legal name, legal sex, current address, and photo on the license.

When talking with the police never give a phony name or address! However, you do not have to disclose your sexual preference or information about your job. Try to avoid acting arrogant or intimidated. Remain calm and courteous! Remember that it is appropriate to politely ask to see the officer's ID, particularly if they are not in uniform. If detained for suspicious behavior or for disturbing the peace it may be helpful to identify yourself as a member of StLGF or to produce documentation of your transgender status (e.g. a letter prepared by your psychologist or physician).

If you are arrested peacefully go to the station. Never try to argue or resist or otherwise evade arrest and never try to bargain with or bribe the officer. Upon arrival at the station, respectfully insist upon contact with a friend or family member and your own attorney or the public defender. Request a postponement of any court appearance if you are not represented or your attorney is not present. Try to avoid appearing in front of the judge or magistrate in clothing inappropriate to your true and legal sex. If necessary ask someone to bring your clothes (if you're not carrying clothing in your car). Do not sign any confessions or written statement and do not admit or deny any charge or allegation. Never discuss your case with another prisoner.

Finally, try to carry sufficient money to post bond for a misdemeanor.