The StLGF is a non-profit, non-sexuall, social end educational organization open to all adults who believe in freedom of gender expression, Although our members are primarily male-to female crossdressers and male-to-female transsexuals; all members of the transgendered community, as well as supportive family members and interested professionals.

"The Gazette" is published bi-monthly in January, March, May, July, September, and November. The deadline for submissions is the 15th of the month prior to publication. For information please use our voice mail number (314) 607-4163.

All submissions become the property of StLGF, and should be accompanied by a release-to-print statement. Letters, articles, and/or pictures that include nudity, profanity, or obscenities will not be published.

We also reserve the right not to publish any other materials that we consider inappropriate. All issues are copyrighted. However, any nonprofit organization or publication may reprint articles or other information from this publication, provided they allow the free use of their materials by other non-profit organizations.

If you have any questions please write:
StLGF,
PO Box, St. Louis, MO 63117,
or call us at
(314) 607-4163
Email the StLGF: stlgftg@netscape.net
Web Sites:
http://members.aol.com/stlgf1/

Email the Editor: Christy Kay: Christy Kay

The Presidents Column

by Erika Cantrell

Well, here it is. My last column as your President. It was cleverly extracted from me by your wise editor, who appealed to my vanity by threatening to throw an unflattering photo in the open slot. Since I knew she wouldn't have to dig too hard . . . here it is.

Seriously, I could not have missed this opportunity to share some personal thoughts with you. Although there is always the temptation to use such a platform to retaliate against past indiscretions, throw a last word into an ongoing argument, or recount perceived accomplishment, these are temptations that I will let pass.

I am forever in the debt of the present members of StLGF, the past members who made sure that it was there for me when I needed it, and the future members who will bring it to the next generation. About three years ago, StLGF saved me from myself. It showed me the way to a more honest and fulfilling life, and gave me the first true friends I had ever known. It quietly supported me as I crept one step at a time out of the darkness. Not that everything looks wonderful in the unforgiving light of day (pass me my compact please), but there is something to be said for taking measured risks. Nothing in this world feels more wonderful than sharing yourself, all of yourself, with someone else who cares, who knows who you are, and loves you for who you are. I would never have learned this if it were not for StLGF.

I hope that the new leadership will keep our organization on a true course . . .helping StLGF do what it does best . . .serving as the first stepping stone on the way out of the closet. Transgender politics are important, they will eventually make the world a better place for all of us . . . but StLGF is not the place. It needs to remain a safe haven, a comfortable and friendly place for all transgender . . . a place where you can find out that you are not alone.

I have so many personal THANK YOUs. Although these might traditionally be held for the May Banquet, I know that I will not be in a suitable emotional state to say all that I need to say (its those raging hormones you know). So here goes . . .chronologically, sort of:

Thank you Jordynne Lobo (then Baker) for being so patient as we fanagled over the how and when of our first meeting (I was so scared and you were so gentle and reassuring).
Thank you Shannon Gayle, Gayle Renee, and Joyce LaFontaine for taking the initiative to welcome me to my first meeting, for being the first to take me out on the town, and for christening me with the name of Erika. Thank you Chrissie for always having a kind word when we collided a attitudes during my party-girl phase.
Thank you Michelle McDaniels (wherever you are) for encouraging me to take over the newsletter less than five months after joining . . . thereby giving me access to the information I so desperately needed.
Thank you Rita Amore, for being such a wonderful friend, for cautioning me to take the time to protect myself, and for reminding me to relish each moment of my time in the sun. Thank you also for taking on another stint as VP to help seduce me into running for my first term as President. And, CoCo, thank you too!
Thank you Jamie Edwards . . . you've done so much for all of us . . . giving of yourself . .so generous with the esteem building kind word . Thank you for standing by me when I messed up, when my energies flagged, and for forgiving me (more than once).
Thank you to the officers who have worked so hard to make things work to Stephanie James for shielding me from the constant barrage of voice mail messages, Steve Harris for just being the most celestial transgender mind in the solar system, Andrew for being such an incredible Treasurer (he must be printing the stuff in the basement).
Thank you Christy Kay for taking over the newletter and propelling it to new heights, for projecting our presence into cyberspace, and for being a consistent and supportive friend!
Thank you Shannon Ware for picking up the public torch, which I dropped, and for working so hard on our behalf.
Thank you Carmen for caring . . . for me and for StLGF. Good Luck as President . . .I'll be here if you need me.. And Vicki thanks for giving us Carmen.
Thank you Jennifer Richards . . . an inspiration even after your light began to fade . . .

Thank you everyone . . . I love you all!

A Firsthand Report of the 1997 Texas T Party

By Jennifer L.

"Life Is a Dream That You Control."

The Texas T Party started quietly enough for me on a Wednesday afternoon, but by Sunday afternoon I returned home feeling dazzled by the variety of people I had met, fascinated by their stories, and inspired by their courage.

I arrived in Dallas in the afternoon on Wednesday, March 12, and kicked off my vacation with a quick trip to the mall as my male self. Later in the afternoon, I changed into Jennifer. I checked in at the T Party registration desk and began watching for old friends. As it turned out, the only St. Louisan I saw at the T was the delightful Chrissie, but not to worry, because so many of the girls at the convention are ready to share with you if you make only the smallest effort to get to know them. Perhaps it's because we have already revealed one of our biggest secrets to each other, or perhaps it's our feminine side coming out, but I found more willingness to trust and share among my sisters at meetings and conventions such as the T, than I have found anywhere else.

On Thursday I went shopping (so what else is new?). On Thursday night, 20 or 30 girls from the T went to Sue Ellen's, a friendly lesbian bar where we are accepted. I was barely 10 feet into the bar before I met a sweet girl, a regular, who wanted to know all about us and made me promise to dance with her. I reveled in seeing the many ways the girls at the club express themselves through the way they dress and behave. The MC at their show, a tough-looking gal who bore a slight resemblance to Jay Leno, announced that she hoped one us girls from the T Party could show her how to wear a dress. She also joked that those with the six-foot-tall hair should move to the back so the other girls could see the show. Before long, everyone was mixing, and you couldn't tell who was who. Girls will be boys, and boys will be girls, as the song said.

On Friday - you guessed it - I went shopping. Among other items, I bought a June Cleaver-style black-and-white plaid belted dress. I wore it Friday afternoon at the T Party, and had to resist the urge to walk around shouting, "Wally! Beaver! Dinner's ready!"

Dinner at the T was followed by dancing, which was a delight. I met Elizabeth from Boise, Idaho, Alana from Amarillo, Texas, and Lauren from Los Angeles. We tried new dance steps and basically acted silly and giggled, occasionally taking breaks to tell each other bits of our stories. We all made plans to meet on Saturday morning to make a daylight foray into Dallas as our feminine selves.

Saturday morning I felt a little more nervous about the idea of going out as Jennifer in the daytime, since Jennifer's adventures had thus far been limited mostly to the evening hours at gender-friendly clubs. However, our little group had begun to bond by this time, and the other girls promised to be by my side. Our group had grown to five by this time with the addition of Theresa. Elizabeth was sweet enough to help me with my makeup, and out the door we went.

"You Are What You Pretend to Be."

Our first stop was Deep Ellurn, a rehabbed neighborhood of music clubs and funky shops, roughly equivalent to the U-City Loop in St. Louis. We browsed the shops, and some of the girls bought jewelry. Deep Ellum, as an open-minded neighborhood, felt safe to me.

However, the next stop was the heart of middle America: the crowded North Park Mall on Saturday afternoon. Although I was a little nervous and I hung onto Elizabeth for support, we encountered no problems. In fact, I noticed nothing more than an occasional glance. The salespeople all were friendly and helpful, and an hour later I was plunging into the discount dress racks at Neiman-Marcus on my own.

We returned to the hotel with barely enough time to get ready for the final big dinner. Everyone pulls out all the stops for Saturday night. Sequins and silk and taffeta were everywhere. Everyone looked gorgeous, and I was busy snapping pictures left and right. By this time my feet were a little tired, and I was ready to stay in for the evening. Clubs are fun, but sometimes a girl just wants to talk, and we talked and laughed until the small hours of the morning.

Sunday morning our little group gathered again for the getaway breakfast. We exchanged addresses and phone numbers and promised to keep in touch. As I walked around the hotel, I ran into men who bore only the slightest resemblance to the women I had met on the preceding days. In many cases, their transformations were so complete, that I could not believe they could be one and the same person. I felt a little sad to be leaving, but blessed to have had such a magical time, and determined to stay in touch with my new friends.

"Life is a Dream That You Control."

Rita's OH-SO-RAMBUNCTIOUS Ramblings

by Rita Amore

Dear Ones...By the time you read this column, Ellen will have come out to the world as a lesbian on her sitcom. Now I know a lot of folk are making a big deal out of this, but remember, over twenty years ago Paul Lynde of "Hollywood Squares" was the most flamboyantly out gay man on the tube without having to announce that he was homosexual. If Ellen's outing of herself is a sign to the queer world of a new acceptance in TV land, The Lovely One predicts, that by the fall season of 1998, a transgendered character will have prominence in prime time. And the transgendered character will not be RuPaul, who'll probably be hosting the "Today Show" by then, or Dennis Rodman. My prediction of the network making this transgendered breakthrough is Fox (named after our own Miss Bobbi) or ABC, which secretly stands for "America's Beautiful Crossdressers." CBS, now owned by Westinghouse, won't even be in the running. Their "Can't Bend Status-quo" approach has ruined both their industrial electrical and broadcast businesses.

TRASHY DIVAS...The March 8th First Annual StLGF Trashy Diva party was held at Bill Hamilton's place. Twenty-five divas attended to compete for the title of Trashiest Diva of Them All. Sharon Love and Macy tied for "Best of the Trashies" as you can see from the photos in this issue. Two local entertainers, Kellie LaBrock and CoCo Ri performed on Bill's living room stage. My sources have whispered that Bill is planning other theme parties soon for StLGF members and invited guests.

GENDER SURFING...For you Internet Junkies, this is for you. And for those of you who remain Internet illiterate, this is especially for you. The Internet has opened a plethora of informational and communication exchanges, the most surprising of which is the abundance of gender-related web sites. Beautiful and talented gender nerdesses have created some of the best home pages in the entire virtual spectrum. Now I define myself (when definition is necessary) as your somewhat basic, somewhat fetishistic TV with a touch of exhibitionistic drag queen and a dollop of performing impersonator thrown into the mix. I enjoy surfing the net for material that corresponds to my personal transgendered interests.

On the net you can find TV's who are fully absorbed in fetishistic stimuli (petticoats, corsets, stockings, etc.) that appeal to other "hobbyists or enthusiasts." These sites are linked to others like them and to vendors that sell fetishistic paraphernalia. You can also find narcissistic TV/DQ's whose sole purpose in having a web page is to exhibit photos of themselves to others. Their closets have merely expanded from the bedroom to cyberspace. They seem to have an overwhelming desire to seek approval via e-mail on the quality of their sites and photos. You can find a similar theme in many of the personal ads in the print media; Transgender Magazine in particular, and the photo-spread TV magazines like LadyLike. Because web sites can be updated quickly, and the subsequent feedback is so much immediate gratification, the web will eventually replace the print media in meeting the needs of these individuals.

The World Wide Web also has a fair amount of both commercial and non-commercial informational transgender sites. Transgender Forum www.tgforum.com is one of the best and includes weekly columns by feature writers (some similar to the Ramblings column) and articles submitted by members of our community. TGForum has limited free access to the text and a few graphics designed to develop paid subscriptions. The effort is by JoAnn Roberts and a consortium of TG entrepreneurs. The free text part is good, but the marketing plan is backwards. The subscriber-only access to graphics and pictures is of limited value and already greatly exceeded by the free stuff offered by the narcissists and fetishists mentioned above. TGForum should charge for the written stuff, which is superior to most found on-line, and provide the pictures for free. But until JoAnn figures it out, hasten yourselves to her site and enjoy.

Other good sites frequently updated, though not quite as reliably as the weekly TGForum, are Michelle's Mid-Day Break http://www.dragscape.com for good stories, listings, fiction, etc., and UR Not Alone http://www.geocities.com/West Hollywod/7443/ for major links to outstanding individual web sites. Our own Editrix Christy Kay http://members.aol.com/stlgf1/cks.html also has a web site, accessible through the club's home page, offering TG-related links.

POTPOURRI...The best line of the season comes from the recent play "The Red Address," by David Ives..."Priests, nuns, hookers, they used to dress recognizably. Now priests dress like golf champions, nuns dress like men, and if you see someone dressed like a hooker, it's a man." Our own former treasurer, Steve Harris, tells me the uniform of the college professor has also changed in recent years. For those of you who haven't yet met Steve, he is definitely on the cutting edge of cross-gender fashion expression.

Until the next time, my Lovelies...

Even if we all are aboard the Ship of Fools,

Let us all be the happiest fools on the ocean!

Rita

The Continuing Adventures of Marci

By: Marcia Lynn Williams

Greetings All!

Since my last article, many exciting events have come and gone in my life! A very significant one occurred at the March Session. My spouse, Babs, attended with me!! Inexpressible joy is the only way I can describe my feelings over this! For her to take such a dramatic step into our unique world was a major undertaking for both of us. I'll go into this point a little later. But first, let me share a few fun things that we have done together since her decision to share in my cross dressing life.

Prior to that evening a new StLGF member named Judy had called us to discuss her desire to attend for the first time. Well, she did attend and we had a ball together!! One really fun thing we did as we were getting to know each other was go to the ladies room together. Now, you might be asking how this can be fun?? Hey, there we were...Marci, Judy, Babs and the barmaid, all in the ladies room. Two cross dressers, a spouse and a stranger. While we were in there, I mentioned to the barmaid that if she wanted to really have a great time, just dress her boyfriend up as a lady and join our session in April. I think she got a real kick out of that comment...

The following week, Babs (my spouse) and I visited Judy at her home. While there, I got the "bright" idea to have us all go to the store. There we were, three ladies walking out to the car in broad daylight, then driving to the local market! This was thrilling beyond description!! Babs did the driving and even bought us some liquid refreshments once we got there. I thought about walking from the car into the store with her, but I just couldn't let our hostess Judy alone in the car now, could I? Babs maintains that we two "chicks" were truly "chickens"!! (And, a certain Gazette Editor, whom she has taken a liking to, told her that she ought to have me wash her car in front of our house wearing a bikini!??) Guess we "chickens" owe her big time, eh?

The next event that has had a tremendous impact on my and Babs's life occurred on Saturday the 12th of April. Sharon Love, a long time member of the Foundation came over to our home and did a complete photo shoot of me!! Oh, I was in heaven! I think all us cross dressers like to have pictures taken when we are dressed and here I was, posing in a variety of outfits displaying a variety of Marci's moods. Sharon did a superb job and the photos turned out great!!

At this past April 19th session, we held our fashion show. All the contestants looked really great!! In the evening wear category, I thought all of us were winners. However, someone had to be chosen to accept the prize money and it was me!??!! All I can say is, thank you all. And I could not have done it without Babs letting me use a few of her accessories...and her beautiful long stemmed rose. I never would have dreamed that I, Marcia Lynn, could have ever won a prize at a fashion show much less be a contestant.

On Saturday evening, April 26th, StLGF held their 10th annual fund raising Follies at a local ladies bar in South St. Louis. It was a terrific event and all of us who could make it had a great time! Another new member, Billie, had come over to our house for dinner, then she and Babs and I headed to the follies. Walking from our front door to the car, then driving over to Ernie's, was sooo thrilling!!

All the acts were truly "class acts" and a generous crowd helped us raise a goodly sum!! I even got to perform and got a lot of "feedback", mostly from the microphone. But I did get several good compliments and enjoyed being a part of the show! I feel that all of us there drew much closer together. Billie was very glad she decided to go after some misgivings. Babs got even closer to those members she's become fond of and I was simply ecstatic!!

Getting back to Babs's attending her first session, although she has known for nearly twenty years that I had a proclivity to put on nail polish and women's shoes and an article or two of clothing, she never really knew the depth of my desire nor the reasons why. Well, I still don't know why either. All I know, and what Babs is trying to understand, is that I NEED to dress in ladies apparel. Moreover, I NEED to get together with other transgendered sisters...

I've been teasing Babs about her needing the Foundation as much as I do. You see, she's every bit a lady...but she's also a hockey fan, baseball fan, and sometimes a real tomboy!! Her masculine qualities blend nicely with her femininity...she's one of us! In the next issue I want to share with everyone about the long road we've both had to take to come to a mutual understanding of cross dressing, the transgendered world, and our overall relationship. You see, relationships are of utmost importance to me...

To be continued...

Maric Lynn

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