The St. Louis Gender Foundation

Gazette

Gazette March - April 1997

A bimonthly newsletter for the transgendered community

The StLGF is a MAGGIE affiliate

Our Masthead

Statement of Purpose

If you have any questions please write:
StLGF,
PO Box, St. Louis, MO 63117,
or call us at
(314) 607-4163
Email the StLGF: stlgftg@netscape.net
Web Sites:
http://members.aol.com/stlgf1/

Email the Editor: Christy Kay: Christy Kay

Rita's Oh So Rambunctious Ramblings

by Rita Amore

Dear Ones...It's a great time to be alive; and if you're a transgendered soul, it is the most perfect time to be inhaling life-sustaining air. Like a warm spring breeze blowing away the harsh remnants of winter, the warm winds of change blowing through society are melting glacial-like barriers previously thought to be eternally frozen solid. This column will report some examples of Chinooks that have already blown through the current year (1997).

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY...Unless you (1) live under a rock, (2) did not watch the Super Bowl, or (3) do not follow current events in the media, you are aware of the transsexual-theme of Holiday Inn's commercial and the subsequent seven to ten days of discussion that followed in the mainstream media. The ad used a T.S. and her favorable transformation to parallel the hotel's recent transformations. This, dear friends, would have been advertising suicide in the near-recent past. Holiday Inn, as some of you longer-term members are aware, gave our club the boot when they bought the Hampton HoJo in 1993. Their corporate "family values" were somehow incompatible with our queerness. Men in dresses (and tasteful ones, I might add) were not welcome. Four years later...and their advertising on Super Sunday was in-your-face gender based. I'm glad I'm alive to witness this!

ST. LOUIS MARDI GRAS PARADE...The winds of change may be blowing warm, but the wind on February 8th for the Mardi Gras parade was uninvitingly cold. And what does a Mardi Gras parade have to do with changing societal perceptions of gender anyway? Forget that it encourages early morning consumption of distilled spirits or malted beverages to prime one for viewing the parade and later the "High-Heeled Drag Race" in front of CleMENtine's Bar. The Lovely One will tell you what the real significance is. Crossdressing was more prevalent, open, and accepted in this parade than in any previous. Of course there are always drag queens, and this year's Grey Fox Pub float didn't disappoint. Miss Grey Fox rode, of course, wearing what I presumed was a fox fur coat while Amanda Blake and Trish LaDish walked on either side of the float. But the level of generally straight crossdressing participation is what amazed the Lovely One. Lots of men, lots of dresses. One float of about thirty people had all sexes crossdressed...men as women, women as men. Unbelievable, and right here in the Gateway. The number of crossdressers, the crowd acceptance (vis-a-vis previous years' vocal derision), and a notation in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch parade write-up give me hope that the winds of change are building up to tornado force. Perhaps we should enter an STLGF float next year...with Stephanie James anointed as our parade mistress.

WORKING WOMAN'S SURVIVAL SHOW...The Lovely One and club member Joann Schultz substituted a new venue for our third annual "girls who lunch" outing. Instead of Balaban's in the Central West End, two enchanting crossdressers attended the Working Woman's Survival Show on Friday, February 21st, at the America's Center downtown. This show attracts thousands of women and hundreds of vendors. So how did we fare?

My preparations began the night before with the rite known as "Outfit Selection." Part of the CD euphoria comes from selecting clothing to create the intended image, debating various wardrobe combinations, and finally accessorizing. The right mix of shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup, and purse selection all contribute to achieving the desired image. Friday morning I showered, shaved and moisturized my legs, shaved my lovely face, then dressed in DRAB and went to work. At 11:00 a.m. I came home to begin the transformation into a working woman. For those of you who must have details of what a butch TV wears to become a working woman, I am only too happy to oblige.

Start with Liz Claiborne sheer-to-waist nude panty hose, a black Lilyette bodybriefer, and a flowing mid-calf rayon challis skirt. Add a navy Leslie Fay tunic jacket, and top it all off with a dark brown shoulder-length wig. Jewelry should be understated, and mine consisted of small gold hoop earrings, a slim gold watch, and a woman's engagement and wedding ring set. (This TV is a happily married woman when out and about.) (Editorial comment from Coco: She's so happy, because she can think of no better spouse than her male self, and I've known for years her real dream is to be married to herself!) Practicality dictated wearing bronze metallic flats with gold and pewter highlights to accent the gold buttons of the jacket and the gold jewelry. The only thing worse than wearing heels on a concrete convention hall floor is walking the entire Mardi Gras parade route in them (just ask Trish LaDish and Amanda Blake) or walking from the parking garage to Convention Plaza.

Joann arrived about 11:30 a.m. and got dressed in a similar skirt and jacket ensemble. The only fundamental differences between the two of us were Joann's strawberry blonde wig and choice of black, mid-height heel pumps. With umbrellas in tow, off we went. Parking was limited, but luckily we found a space on the roof (uncovered, of course, and it was raining) of the St. Louis Centre garage. Down the crowded garage elevator to the second floor, across the St. Louis Centre bridge, through the Centre concourse into Dillard's men's department, down the escalator to street level, around the corner, and into America's Center. Joann quickly recognized the folly in her choice of high heels.

You must realize that all this was taking place during lunch hour in downtown St. Louis in broad daylight. Did we pass, you wonder. Like Ma and Pa Kettle passing for New York natives in Times Square, we both passed...from about a block-and-a-half away or from the well-padded rear. As we bought our seven-dollar tickets and strolled into the show, we were read by all who cared to give more than minimal scrutiny. Dear readers, Joann and Lovely One somehow do not possess either the petite shape of Shannon Jackson or the beautiful hair and womanly face of The Elegant One, Miss Erika, which would help in passing amongst thousands of women in very close proximity. We didn't care that we were read as men in dresses. Life is short, and we choose to live it now.

Women being women are basically kind souls. No pointing, giggling or other possible public embarrassments. Woman who clocked us either just looked away after eye contact, or they looked straight at us and smiled with a twinkling eye that said, "I know your secret, but it's safe with me." The female vendors were much more than just sympathetic; they were giddishly enthusiastic about our presence. The real fun was with vendor interaction. Vendors for nail care, fake tanning products, and Estee Lauder cosmetics seemed grateful that we provided diversion from their repetitive trade show sales monologues. We were treated like queens, and at the nail care vendor, like drag queens. This sales woman was a very expressive Latina from New York. After learning that I once lived in Manhattan, she told me I must go to Alan & Susie's on 86th at Broadway. They have the best clothes, wigs, and shoes...and they do all the drag queens. In addition, her daughter works there.

Our advice on attending next year's Working Woman's Survival Show and surviving as a TV is the following:

• Dress appropriately for the occasion.
• Do not have a political agenda.
• Be respectful of others and yourself.
• DO NOT WORRY ABOUT BEING READ, just be ready for it.
• When read, just smile, smile, smile.
• When not read, just SMILE, SMILE, SMILE.

Yes, the times are a-changing. Society, first through the power of women, will become more and more accepting of gender minorities like us. It is happening now, but you must still exercise caution Ð it's not prudent nor wise to go dressed in your finery to a redneck bar in Jefferson County with a parking lot full of pickup trucks with gun racks in the back window. Use discretion, please, then do your part to further our cause by behaving appropriately for everything in which you participate. Be trashy at our Trashy Diva party, but be a survivor at the Working Woman's Survival Show. To make a long story even longer, I must include the best quote of the day. Joann said, "I'll probably pass better if I quit looking at all these gorgeous women like a man looks at a woman, but I can't help myself." (Okay Joann, next year you're buying my ticket to the show, or I'll send this newsletter straight to your wife.)

IN BRIEF(S)...Welcome to all the new members who came to our February meeting. I didn't get a chance to meet all of you, but I will. Don't be afraid to come up to me or the rest of us old dogs to chat. We won't bite, I promise. Joyce LaFontaine was resplendent is her new blue evening gown, courtesy of club member Charlie. The real newsy item was what she was wearing under the gown, also courtesy of Charlie Ð combination lace, gartered pantyhose with matching lace panties all in virginal white. Very cute, Joycie, and thanks for showing all of us.

Until the next time, my Lovelies... "Always match your earrings with your shoes Ð in case they end up next to each other." An old drag queen proverb. Rita Amore

Rita

The Lady In The Mirror

by Carmen

I am 39 years old, and I didn't completely see the lady in the mirror until about 6 years ago. Until that time, I saw only portions of her. I saw portions of her for the first time when I was about 13 years old. The first thing I saw was her legs in nylon stockings. They were beautiful to me. Shortly thereafter, I got to see her body in one of my Mom's dresses and shoes. The dress was lime green, and her shoes were tight fitting with a squared off toe (similar to the shoe styles which are coming back into fashion now). The portions of her I saw were always beautiful to me.

Years passed, and on rare occasions, I would see some of these same portions of her. Larger, older, and hairier than before but still beautiful to me. She always wanted me to see more of her, but my life situation was such that it was just not possible.

I thought when I got married that my desire to see the lady in the mirror would subside. I was wrong. As I got older, my desire to see and meet her increased. I began buying her skirts and shoes through Sears mail order. The phone calls requesting articles of clothing for her were extremely difficult for me to make. I couldn't have been more nervous, but I had to do it for her.

I had seen her nylon covered legs fairly frequently over the years, but it had been over 20 years since I saw her wearing women's shoes. Now the style had changed and she was wearing pumps with a 3 inch heel. Her legs were still beautiful to me.

I got to see portions of her face for the first time while my wife was at work one holiday. She wore a light cover of foundation, pink eye shadow, black mascara, and pink frost lipstick. It was an eery feeling to look at her. Her eyes were riveted to mine. She had short hair, appeared frightened, and extremely lonely. Dead silence as we stared at one another. I washed my face, and when I raised my head to look in the mirror, she was gone.

Late one night, I hurriedly bought her a wig at a local mall. I was really scared to death making this purchase. I didn't know whether she would like it or not. It was a short straight cut with bangs. I also bought her make-up and press on nails. The clothing, make-up, and wig were all neatly packed away for a business trip. I was going to meet her for the first time.

She was as excited about meeting me as I was about meeting her. She hurriedly put on all the clothing and make-up I bought for her. As I watched her in the mirror, she lowered her head to put on the wig. Slowly raising her head she looked at me and smiled. It's hard to describe how I felt. Numb.... Weak.... Nervous.... Shaking.... I felt very scared. I have been wanting to meet her for 20 years, and now here she was smiling at me. I have known her for 20 years, and yet I had never met her face to face. She was the loneliest person I had ever seen, but she was finally happy. I left the bathroom, and went to sit on the bed.

Since that first meeting, I have been with her on numerous occasions, and I have even introduced her to my wife. I have given her a name, Carmen. She is much happier now and less lonely. She has also become a member of the St. Louis Gender Foundation.

All over the world, there a ladies wanting to meet themselves face to face on the other side of the mirror. Warm, gentle, caring, and loving individuals who are misunderstood by the societies they live in. These ladies are extremely lonely. Isn't it nice when one of them is able to come out.

What Happening

By Christy Kay

March of last year marked the birth of the St.. Louis Gender Foundation Homepage. In the course of a year, we've had over 10,000 visitors come to learn about us and our organization. It's interesting the email I get from the StLGF site and my own, in that transgendered people and their spouses are asking me for advise. Little do they know... My understanding from Erika is that many of our new members have arrived from our web site.

Meetings to be...

March - will be an educational meeting, we're hoping to have a cosmetic and nail Presentation.

Personally, I could go for a hair styling demo, if anyone say how unruly my hair got my the end of the evening. At least it's blonde.

We will also have our nominations in March, for those fearless ladies who will lead us in 1998. If anyone cares to help administer the StLGF, that's the time to step forward.

April - Our Spring Fashion Show. The categories are Sci-Fi, Sports wear, and Evening wear. Those who wish to participate please provide us with a file card describing your outfit as you wish the announcer to read it.

I think April is also the Spring Bonnet Contest. Time to start digging through those closet and Hat boxes.

We are also attempting to have a Follies this year. Rumor has it that Rita has secured a site, we've got members to organize it, and we are working on a date.

May, the theme will be Carnival in Venice. Of course, this will be our annual Awards Banquet honoring our outgoing officers, and those who contributed mightily to the StLGF in the course of the year.

This Summer...

Nothing is set yet, but I heard that it's in the works. We're going to try to go back to the Lake. For those of you who went last year, no description is needed. For those who weren't there, ask someone who was. It's a really nice place.

New members...

At our first meeting of the year,in January, we had Rhonda and Melissa, two brand new members, brave the cold and show up. In February, we had the largest turnout I've ever seen of new members. Francis, Deniese, Danny, Julie, Marcia, Suzanne & her spouse, Deaanne and Ashley. I've been over this list with 3 other people involved, and feel I've still missed someone. I apologize. I really hope this is a sign of things to come. I know of 2 more members who have been interviewed, but had previous engagement they sorrowfully could not break

It's My First Time...

by Marcia Lynn Williams

Hi all! I'm Marcia Lynn Williams. But you can call me Marci! I want to share with you my very first time at a monthly StLGF session. A little background first. I knew I was "different" back when I was about nine years old. By the time I was in my pubescent years, I was deep into high heels and stockings as well as an occasional dress. Someday, I might get to publish my entire detailed story. For now, the main point I want to make is how so very guilty I have been all these years. But how finding the StLGF Web Page brought me to the true understanding of who I am and of how much fun cross dressing can be. I'm 48 now. It was only in about September, 1996, that I discovered that cross dressing is O.K!!

About a year ago, I found the StLGF on the Internet. At that time, I still considered CDing as an immoral, sinful aberration. Everyone I knew apparently felt the same way. Well, all my life I always felt out of place in EVERY segment of society into which I ventured. I knew there were others like me, but I never dreamed I'd find out there are so many! Anyway, when I first looked at the Web Page on the Net, I was astonished to find out that StLGF was an approving support organization rather than the usual 12 step support groups!?? I had a difficult time with this. So, I just forgot about using the Net to find help.

One day, while I was home on vacation doing some house painting, while my wife was at work, I got dressed up, sat down in front of the computer, and just told God that if I couldn't be accepted by her/him, then there wasn't much point in trying anymore! I logged onto the StLGF page again, and began following some links. Suddenly, there it was. God's answer to me. A Christian* [not the traditional, judgmental churchianity thing, but a true, loving Christian] cross dressers' forum!! I devoured everything on it I could. Well, one thing led to another, and I found JoAnn Roberts' Page. Through her I obtained lots of literature as well as help with the actual process of dressing in a ladylike fashion.

So, I finally joined StLGF and came to my first session. I dressed and put on my makeup at home. I packed a small gym bag and my purse. Because Christy Kay took the time to call me on the phone and give me some pointers, I put on some sweats, gym shoes [which nowadays are pretty androgynous, so I can save money there] and my overcoat. I had my wig cap on so I put a baseball cap on and took my things and headed to the car. My heart was pounding. I got in and headed off for the meeting room. Fortunately, my wife and I had gone there two weeks earlier to "scope things out". I don't like looking for places cold.

Driving to the place was something else! When I got to the hotel parking lot, it was so full that I had to park in the reserve lot and walk about 1/4 mile. So, I put on my wig, gathered my things, and began the trek. I made it O.K., found my way up the stairs and into the corridor. As I approached the meeting room a Bluegrass band was playing down the hall. People were standing there. I almost went down there thinking they were there for StLGF. I'm glad I didn't! I entered the room, and there was a real genetic female behind the bar!?? My heart raced. But then, sitting at a table were some of the cutest ladies, almost all of them crossdressers.

I said, "Hi!", and they all greeted me. I was pretty winded and asked if I could freshen up. Stephanie took me to the changing room and I brushed my wig, checked my "hips & derriere", smiled at the cute little chic in the mirror, and wiggled my hips! I gathered up my purse, headed out the door and down the hall. On the way, I was passed by a fellow and his female partner. I smiled and she especially smiled as we passed. I wonder if she knew...

Once I got into the meeting room again, the rest of the evening was so wonderful! It was a real dream come true!! Everyone was so friendly, helpful and supportive. That particular night about nine new members were in attendance. So, I truly was in good company. I met Carmen, and she sort of took me by the hand and made me feel at home. She introduced me to Jamie who happened to work for the same company I do. Not only did I know her, I had actually trained her.

During the evening we had such a nice buffet meal. I had a couple of drinks and was amazed at how friendly the barmaids were. They are genetic females and I felt that I really had something in common with them. They made me feel very comfortable. I can't remember everyone's name, but that will come as I attend more often. But, there were a few people whom I hope to get to know much better. One, named Mace, was so much fun! She likes to pick and tease and I like that. She made me feel really welcome. Then there's Candice. She came over to my table and made me feel like part of the family. She shared with me the fact that she was also nervous on her way to the meeting. As femme as she looked I could't imagine why.

I met a girl in "transition". I met Jamie's s/o Andrew who had the joyous job of collecting the dues for the evening. I met Carmen and her wife Vickie. Carmen made me feel so at ease. Oh, I had such a luscious time!!

When it was time to leave, I was in the changing room gathering my things. Shannon and Bobbie Fox were there giving me pointers and reassurances. They were very concerned about me and Bobbie knew I was apprehensive about walking back to my car. She offered to drive me over to it. However, I needed to see if I could make it myself, so I got out of my red, 5" heel, Frederick's of Hollywood sandals and slipped on a pair of red flats. I put on my overcoat, shouldered my purse and gym bag, and off I went. Twice on the way I passed a couple of genetic males. It began to dawn on me that I was en femme, so I quickened my step, letting my flats scrape the pavement from time to time just like a girl should. I began my little sway and finally reached my car. I had my keys and remote ready. I disarmed the alarm unlocking the doors. I got to the car, opened the door and threw my things in.

To all in StLGF, thanks for being so gentle my first time!

Marci

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