The StLGF is a non-profit, non-sexuall, social end educational organization open to all adults who believe in freedom of gender expression, Although our members are primarily male-to female crossdressers and male-to-female transsexuals; all members of the transgendered community, as well as supportive family members and interested professionals.

"The Gazette" is published bi-monthly in January, March, May, July, September, and November. The deadline for submissions is the 15th of the month prior to publication. For information please use our voice mail number (314) 607-4163.

All submissions become the property of StLGF, and should be accompanied by a release-to-print statement. Letters, articles, and/or pictures that include nudity, profanity, or obscenities will not be published.

We also reserve the right not to publish any other materials that we consider inappropriate. All issues are copyrighted. However, any nonprofit organization or publication may reprint articles or other information from this publication, provided they allow the free use of their materials by other non-profit organizations.

If you have any questions please write:
StLGF,
PO Box, St. Louis, MO 63117,
or call us at
(314) 607-4163
Email the StLGF: stlgftg@netscape.net
Web Sites:
http://members.aol.com/stlgf1/

Email the Editor: Christy Kay: Christy Kay

The President's Column:

by Erika Cantrell

Change often seems to occur too slowly. Rarely, there is some revolutionary event that transforms our world overnight. However, much more frequently, change is incremental with a gradual evolution over many years. Such changes often involve the cumulative efforts of many special people who find themselves motivated to make a difference.

Although most members of our society espouse their support for principles of individual freedom and tolerance, there is a strong tendency to enforce conformity and maintenance of the status quo, and to ostricize those who openly challenge the existing social order. This is particularly true when dealing with such sensitive issues as sexual orientation or alternative gender expression. For this reason, transgender activism poses many potential problems for the activist.

Fortunately, the transgender community has quite a few special people, and they are beginning to make fundamental changes in the social order, despite formidable obstacles. Although we often recognize the efforts or actions of a few charismatic individuals that operate in the national or global arena, we too often fail to appreciate what is going on in our own back yard . . . and there is a lot happening in our back yard!!

Members of our organization are making a difference! A couple very special people come immediately to mind. Certainly one of the highpoints of my entire summer was Jordynne LoboÕs moving and highly personal presentation at the Billy Tipton concert at the Sheldon, which - for the first time - exposed many members of the lesbian/gay community to StLGF and the St. Louis transgender community. Then of course mucho kudos must go to the dynamic duo of Shannon Ware (Jackson) and Renee White for organizing and delivering the highly successful transgender celebration and reception for the Reverend Elder Wilhemena Hein, a post-operative transsexual, The event, which was cosponsored with of the Metropolitan Community Church and held at The Center on October 26, drew a standing room only crowd to hear her inspiring, and at times humorous, story.

Activism and community outreach are certainly not for everyone. However, all of us should extend our thanks and gratitude to those who give of their own time and assume some personal risk to make a difference. Thanks ladies!!!! For some reason, I have a feeling weÕll be hearing a lot more from these energetic folks in the coming months.

One Year Ago

By Carmen

One year ago, I was deeply hidden within my crossdressing closet. All of my feminine clothing was hidden in two small suitcases in our basement. As usual, I was trying to figure out why I crossdress, and understand what was wrong with me. I was feeling very depressed and guilty. I was especially guilty about hiding my crossdressing from Vicki. If I told her, I feared I would lose her, my daughters, my house, my job, .... In spite of all this fear, something had to change.

I went to Barnes & Noble bookstore and searched for a book to help me with my problem. I found the book ÒCrossdressing, Sex, and Gender.Ó I couldnÕt believe my eyes. For the first time, I found a book on crossdressing. I sweated bullets as I checked out. Buying the book was extremely difficult for me. Just as when buying womenÕs clothing, I felt scared while doing it, but wonderful after arriving at the car with my purchase. My personal experiences were very similiar to those described in the book. It was comforting to learn others felt as I did. Over the Christmas holiday, I installed a phone line, and connected it to my computer. I thought I was going to get on America On-Line to learn about cars. I didnÕt realize I would find information on a topic much more important to me. I couldnÕt have imagined how the Internet would change my life.

I found an America On-Line site called the Gay & Lesbian Community Forum. Within the Gay & Lesbian Community Forum, I found another intriguing site called the Transgender Community Forum. At the time, the word ÒtransgenderedÓ was foreign to me. Suddenly, I had found a site on my computer full of information on crossdressing. Within the Transgender Community Forum, there was a transcript from a St. Louis radio station interview with somebody named Erika. The broadcast included a phone number for an organization called St. Louis Gender Foundation.

I had a very difficult time getting up enough nerve to call the St. Louis Gender Foundation phone number. IÕm sure I called the number at least a couple times, and hung up out of fear. Finally, I called and left my phone number.

Not long thereafter, Erika returned my call. I was frightened, but for the first time in my life, I was talking to someone who had similiar experiences to mine. After the phone call, I had a long heart to heart talk with Vicki about my crossdressing. It took awhile, and two or three long serious tearful conversations, but Vicki began to understand and accept me. My life had changed totally within a couple months. For the first time, my wife really knew me. What a great feeling.

My little telephone conversation with Erika permanently changed my life. IÕm sure it has changed my life for the better. I canÕt thank Erika enough.

A Transgender Celebration

by Christy Kay

A Transgender Celebration was held prior to the regular October St. Louis Gender FoundationÕs meeting at The Center. The Rev. Elder Wilhelmina Hein of Auckland, New Zealand, spoke about the challenges of living as a transgendered person within both the "straight" and especially the gay and lesbian communities to an evenly mixed group of Members of the StLGF and the Metropolitan Community Church.

The Celebration was cosponsored by the Metropolitan Community Church and the St. Louis Gender Foundation. One could be certain of the membership status of most individuals by the way they were dressed. The Gender Foundation members, with 3 notable exceptions, were en femme and had a greater sense of fashion than the members of the MCC.

For those of you wondering whom the 3rd members was, she is a stealth member, who through email revealed herself only after the Celebration was over and we were all home safely.

Potpourri from Steph

by Stephanie James

Well, this isnÕt the column I had hoped to write... that one kind of went down the tubes when I couldnÕt find my last issue of Transgender. There was a fascinating survey of hundreds of TG folks on a variety of questions. Guess IÕll have to save that for a future issue. I have a vague recollection of loaning my copy to someone at one of our lake meetings. To paraphrase Church Lady, could it be.... JORDYNNE?? So what youÕre going to get here are some random thoughts and observations.

Speaking of Transgender, I think the new look is terrific and the content is much more balanced between the various flavors of CDÕs and TSÕs. In the former Tapestry incarnation there was very little left for your everyday crossdresser. If interested, you can subscribe By sending $40 to IFGE, P.O. Box 229, Waltham, MA 02254-0229. This will bring you four quarterly issues with the next one due in a couple weeks.

Inquiries about membership are slow but steady, at least through our voicemail system which I monitor. On average, there are three requests for membership information weekly and, if you think about it, just picking up one active member each month will grow our base nicely. Just last meeting we had 26 members with a lot of our regulars out of town. Not bad!! Now throw in whateverÕs coming in through e-mail and the future for StLGF looks good. None the less, I think many of us share the belief that there is a large body of potential members out there who donÕt even know we exist. We picked up our last surge in membership (and what a quality group that has proven to be!) when we established e-mail and a web site. We need a new equivalent of that initiative. Your thoughts?

Hey, how Ôbout that election? Not much changed really except a stronger polarization to the left and right in both houses and a further weakening of the middle. On the other hand the level of TG political activism continues to grow astonishingly fast (we have some members who can attest to that) and our issues are beginning to at least get a serious audience. Things have gone way faster than I ever thought they could... the next few years should be really interesting. The most disturbing trend that I see is the co-opting of the conservative movement by the religious right. A true conservative (Barry G. for example) could not care less if you want to wear a dress to the mall so long as you respect his right to live his life as he wishes. Jesse and the boys view things a little differently.

ItÕs amazing how much change a year can bring. Last year we were seriously concerned about where the next generation of leadership was going to come from. Now we have a rich pool of talented, hard working new members who have laid my concerns to rest. Viva la enthusiasm!!! See ya...

Steph

What is Gender?

By Steve Harris By Steve Harris From an anthropologistÕs point of view, gender is the practise humans find themselves in (whether from being hard-wired or from socialization or some mixture) of classifying as either M-flavored or F-flavored each of a large number of patterns of behavior, *plus* the expectation, on seeing a person exhibit any one of these ÒgenderedÓ behaviors, that the person will not exhibit any of the oppositely-marked gendered behaviors (or, at least, not any that are strongly so markedÑthese things being not absolutes, but scaled as weakly marking or strongly marking). Note that it is not the case that every type of behavioral situation has both an M-mode and an F-modeÑitÕs not even the case that if a behavioral situation has an M-mode, then it also has an F-mode, but, instead, it may have neutral modes and M-modes, but no F-mode (or vice versa). Those behavioral situations which are ÒgenderableÓ are generally those involving personal interaction, and many behavioral modes which are basically apersonal have no genderable aspects. While characterizing behaviors as either M-marked or F-marked is a complicated business (and very culture-depedent), it is possible to make some simple generalizations which give a good rule of thumb, I think (at least in present-day western culture): F-marked behaviors are often characterizable as involving the pleasing of others: This can be pleasing through making oneself visually aesthetic, eye-catching, ÒprettyÓ; through expressing an intent to be sensual or pleasing or inviting in a sexual manner; through reluctance to place oneÕs own desires ahead of othersÕ, or oneÕs own ideas at the forefront in place of othersÕ; through taking care not to hurt othersÕ feelings; through a broadly (or narrowly) expressed interest in nurturing; and other similar ideas. This is not to say that all those wishing to signal membership in the F-exhibitors always (or even usually) exhibit all of these types of behavior when the opportunity presents itself; but it is usual for those calling themselves women to express some of these types of behavior and avoid too-frequent expression of their opposites. M-marked behaviors are often characterizable as involving capability: the ability to earn a living, to protect oneÕs family, to exert power over others, to have sexual success, to be better than competitors (in any kind of competition at all), to rise to the occasion for any small need that becomes evident (fixing things, finding the way, etc.). Again, it is not necessary, in order to be an M-exhibitor, that one exhibit all these types of behaviors whenever possible; but it is usual for those calling themselves men to express some of these types of behavior and avoid too-frequent expression of their opposites. Note an important fact: The F- and M-marked behaviors IÕve listed above (and which I believe to be fairly important in characterizing gendered behavior) are not even in the same categories: They are not generally opposites of one another, but exist in different spheres altogether. This is not entirely true: Exerting power over others is incompatible with putting othersÕ ideas ahead of oneÕs own, for instance. But most of F-marked behaviors and M-marked behaviors could coexist in the same person, at least theoretically. However, at least for the strongly- marking behaviors, this is rarely the case in actual people. ThatÕs from an anthropologistÕs point of view; what about from a psychologistÕs? Here we get into the question of what is comfortable (or ÒnaturalÓ) presentation (i.e., choice of behaviors) for a person. A difficult question: Is a given gendered behavior chosen because it is ÒinherentlyÓ the ÒnaturalÓ (most comfortable) one for the person to exhibit, or is it chosen for the sake of the gender-marking it provides? I donÕt think this has a simple answerÑamong other things, I think that we all make some choices on the one basis and some on the other. Then thereÕs the question of what that word ÒinherentlyÓ meansÑdoes it mean something weÕre born with, something we are socialized with before age 4, or something we pick up on as adolescents or even later? Again, I donÕt think thereÕs a simple answer. And then what does this all have to do with sex or sexual function? We can observe (with the anthropologistÕs eye) that nearly everyone exhibits gender-marked behaviors, that almost no one exhibits gender-marked behaviors of both genders (at least, not strongly-marking ones), and that there is a very high correlation between, on the one hand, F-exhibitors and those with vaginas, etc., and, on the other hand, M-exhibitors and those with penises, etc.Ñand this correlation is the basis of nearly all sex-related personal interaction. (It should also be noted that there is a strongÑbut not as strongÑcorrelation between sexual organs and sexual/affectional choice; hence, there is a strong correlation between F/M-exhibition and sexual/affectional choice. ThatÕs why the matter of sexual/affectional choice is not so easily divorced from these inquiries, i.e., why sexual orientation is often thought of in genderal considerations.) From a psychologistÕs inner eye, we can ask why there seems to be in some people (op-oriented TSÕs) a correlation between desiring to be known as (say) an F-exhibitor and having a vaginaÑis this a matter of wanting to be in consonance with othersÕ expectations, or is it something more internally driven? Many people say itÕs the latter, though itÕs far from clear to me how one could be sure of thisÑbut nor is it clear to me that this is an important question; that the sexual organs *are* of very great importance to the person is the crucial matter.

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Last modified 1/6/97.