Rho Tau Newsletter

Lucy's Window	Tiffany's Toons!
Paradise and More!

Why Would A Man Want to Cross-Dress?

Probably the first question everyone, both CDs and spouses ask is, "Why would a man want to cross-dress?" I know that is the first question that I asked myself when I first became aware of my desire to cross-dress. Being a scientist, I immediately looked for the root cause and quickly learned that while there are many theories, the cause is not known. However, the fact remains, I have a strong desire to wear women's clothes and have had it from my first recollections as a small child. This is not something I wanted, and like most of us, it is something I would not have chosen. But having accepted myself, I very much enjoy the bright colors, varieties of fabrics and jewelry that afford me the freedom of expression and pure delight that I get from my Lucy clothes. Is this really much different than much of the enjoyment that genetic females get?

Some of you may reply that one of the major reasons that genetic females wear attractive clothes is to appeal to men. True that is not one of my reasons. I am very much a heterosexual male, and I have never wanted anything but my Don clothes when I wanted to be sexually attractive. However, none of us, either men or women, want to spend all of our time attracting the other sex. As we get older, we spend more time pursuing other goals, but more and more as time goes by, we want to wear clothes that appeal to us. I am not satisfied with the limitations deemed appropriate for my sex any more than most women would be if they were limited to wearing dresses all of the time, as they were during the first part of the last century.

Perhaps you may be thinking that society says it is all right for women to wear bright colors, but men are supposed to dress in keeping with their supposedly stoic nature. However, this certainly is not the desire of many men. Various studies have shown that a large number of cross-dressers exist worldwide. Estimates have ranged from three to eight percent of males in developed countries, and some therapists say that in particular groups such as retired upper middle class males, the percentage may be much higher. No one knows how many of us there are because many cross-dressers stay in the closet. If less inhibited, perhaps many more males would enjoy and wear many of the garments they now shun publicly.

Even though I was wrapped in a blue blanket and conditioned from birth to "be a man", I and many others still enjoy women's clothes not only when they are being worn by the fairer sex, but when I am wearing them. So what could I do once I realized that this desire wasn't going away? My first problem was to accept myself and to be honest with my spouse. This is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. Fortunately, I told my wife as soon I realized this was part of me. However, I felt a deep guilt for years, and periodically purged everything. The result, each time, was that I became withdrawn, harder to live with, and both Joan's blood pressure and mine would go up.

Fortunately, Joan did not give up on me, and we both tried to understand and work through the problem. We came to realize that, while we were conditioned by society for our reproductive roles, we each had a broader range of interests and needs. And many of our desires were not that much different from each other. We both dearly love our roles as lovers, parents and grandparents. We love romantic evenings together, and we love to do most of the things most couples do. We both love wearing pretty dresses, and we both spend the majority of our time in casual shirts and pants. And we both love pretty jewelry. Are either of us basically really that much different from each other?

Because we are now retired, we have the good fortune of spending much of our time together. True, I often accompany Joan as Lucy, but more often I accompany Joan as Don. My mode of dress is conditioned by what we are going to do, and each day we decide together how we are going to dress. It is important to me to pass when I am cross-dressed, not because I want to be a woman. Rather, when I am dressed in my favorite clothing, my Lucy mode, everyone including Joan and me are more comfortable that I am being perceived as a woman. This permits us to go about our business without spending all of our time explaining cross-dressing, and I get to wear the clothing and jewelry that is most desirable to me.

But wait you say, what is in it for Joan? I am certain she will tell you that she has a husband who is most appreciative for her love and tries to reciprocate by being attentive to her needs. And she has a husband who loves to be with her, and do things with her. We have lots of fun together, and it is not dependent on how I am dressed. Joan remarked recently that she sometimes has to turn and look at me to see how I am dressed before she addresses me by name, either Don or Lucy. Other wise, as she pointed out, I am the same person. We have found the silver lining in the cloud that once cast a long shadow over our lives, but we both wish only that we had found it sooner.

Note from Joan: I agree with what Lucy has said. However, I would like to add, that many of you will remember the difficult time women had in fighting for the right to wear slacks and many of the articles of men's clothing we take for granted today. Not only did we have to fight the men, but there were many women who did not feel we should be doing this. The advertising community, in order to sell more clothing, has really done a number on all of us. Some of the younger ladies will probably not remember the bra burnings and other arguments for the right to dress as we please. It was a tumultuous time, but we made it through and things have evened out. Hopefully our husbands will also be able to have some of the feminine clothing without having to go to the public forum to fight openly for them.

I imagine everyone has heard of the award-winning "Alladin" animated movie by Disney, but few know this hit movie spawned a Saturday morning television series of the same name. Well, this series has offered me a wealth of cross-dressing clips! It seems almost every episode involves the genie donning a dress and a female persona for some reason or another. I will will be showing several of these to you over the next few months.

Also coming very soon to "Tiffany's Toons" is the cross-dressing clips from the actual "Alladin" movie: a cheerleader, stewardess, female announcer, and harem girl. Whew... that's enough clips for a two-parter.

"Forget Me Lots" (1992) - Alladin and Jasmine have gotten themselves into trouble when they stumble upon a rose (pictured in the atomizer) that when smelled, makes one forget. It's genie to the rescue when the transforms into one of those annoying perfume-counter salesgirls, whips up a batch into the atomizer, and sprays each of the bad guys. Don't worry, he then proceeds to spray Alladin and Jasmine with the antidote. I think I've seen this salesgirl at the local department store!

"Forget Me Lots" (1992) - This short-term busy body appeared when Alladin and Genie needed to search for clues at one of the many hideouts they had found. The Interesting thing about Genie's character is the retro 60's look with the funky housedress, wild glasses, and weird hair! Looks like the Genie definitely needs a makeover!

Paradise and More

Is it possible for a couple (a CD dressed en femme and spouse) to travel over 14,000 miles in two weeks and have an absolutely fabulous time? The answer is an unqualified yes. This past June, we flew as two ladies from Richmond, Virginia to Los Angeles, California where we met Peggy and Melanie Rudd and the others who were going on the Dignity Cruise to Tahiti. That evening, we all got acquainted over dinner and had a wonderful time. The next morning we boarded Hawaiian Airlines DC-10 and were on our way to Tahiti and what was to be seven wonderful days touring French Polynesia.

When we arrived at the airport in Papeete, government officials handled our entry into French Polynesia efficiently and courteously, and we were immediately transported to our Renaissance Cruise Ship. On the pier, Renaissance personnel also were efficient and courteous, and within 15 minutes we were shown to our stateroom. We stopped there only briefly and then were off to tour the ship. What a beautiful ship it was, and the week only got better from there.

Our first day was spent docked in Tahiti where we could leave the ship and do some shopping in the open-air market place. In subsequent days we visited four other islands, Moorea, Huahine, Raiatea and Bora Bora. On each island, we took a guided tour around the island. What wonderful experiences we had meeting the hospitable French Polynesians and viewing the beautiful scenery. Touring the Islands was a delightful and relaxing experience, and our private balcony on board the ship made cruising the islands especially delightful.

On Moorea, Lucy fell while walking down an incline to a botanical garden, and as a result experienced a wonderful outpouring of concern both from fellow passengers who rushed to her aid and the Polynesian tour guide who administered first aid in a very caring manner. Later to her chagrin, Lucy learned that an Australian tourist had videotaped the whole incident as it took place and had narrated it with comments such as, "The lady just fell . . .she is getting up . . . I don't believe she is hurt." Fortunately, other than her dignity and a skinned hand Lucy was uninjured.

The ship's crew all knew our cross dressing group was on board, but they also knew there were heterosexuals and homosexuals, married and unmarried couples, swinging singles, friends of Bill and perhaps a few categories of people we have forgotten. However, we all were paying customers, and no one made the slightest distinction. Our cabin stewardess knew that Lucy was a cross-dressed male, but she always addressed her as madam and treated her with the utmost courtesy.

When we returned to LA, we spent four days in Southern California with Kim and Anya who were on the Dignity Cruise with us, and we continued to have a wonderful time. We rented a car and drove to Vista, near San Diego, where we stayed with Kim's mother. Her mother had agreed for Lucy to come cross-dressed, if she would dress as Don when we went out to dinner with her. While we were there we toured Wild Animal Kingdom and old San Diego. The first night Kim's mother, decided that she really like Lucy and didn't care if she ever met Don. As a result Don never emerged from our suitcases.

It was a great trip, especially for Lucy because she got to remain dressed en femme from the time we left our home in Williamsburg until we returned. During the trip, we boarded six airplanes and a ship, we rented a car, and we stayed in three hotel rooms. During our travel, each time it was necessary for Lucy to reveal that she was actually a cross-dressed male and she showed her Transgender ID, we were impressed that everyone, with one exception, acted as if cross-dressed travelers are an ordinary occurrence.

The only incident even worth mentioning occurred when we checked in for our flight to Tahiti. The ticket agent got very flustered when she saw that Lucy's passport was for a male whose appearance is somewhat different. Lucy told her she was cross-dressed and showed the agent her transgender ID, but the agent refused to even consider the possibility. Instead, she took Lucy's passport and ID over to another agent. While we couldn't hear what they were saying, we could tell from the other agent's demeanor that he was trying to tell her everything was all right. However, she still was not convinced and went to a second agent who appeared to respond the same way as the first. Then, she came back and reluctantly gave Lucy a boarding pass. For our ticket agent, meeting Lucy was just the beginning of her exposure to cross-dressers that morning because several other cross-dressed members of our Dignity Cruise group were in line behind us. Checking later with them, we learned that by the time she got to the third cross-dressed member of our party she acted as if boarding someone cross-dressed was a very routine matter.

As the result of our wonderful trip, we can truthfully say that it is possible for a couple (CD and spouse) to travel over 14,000 miles as two ladies and for both of them to have a wonderful time.