By

Lucy Stone

Telling A Teenage Son

Recently, friends of ours, the mother and father of a seventeen year-old boy asked my wife, Joan and me, to assist them in telling their son that his father is a cross-dresser. They had decided that it was essential to tell him because of several of the son's recent remarks, though made in a kidding manner, led them to believe that he was already suspicious. They were concerned that failure to tell him could have serious repercussions on their relationship with him. They said they had considered the possibility that their son could react negatively and impair their relationship with him. However, the boy's mother felt strongly that she knew her son well enough to predict that his response would be positive if he was adequately prepared for this news.

Because I had met their son, Steven, over dinner when I was dressed as Don, and he had remarked to them that he thought I was "pretty cool", Joan and I (Lucy) were asked to meet them for dinner at a local restaurant. We would have dinner, and then I would reveal to him that Don and Lucy really are the same person. I cautioned that even though he might accept me, it was possible that he would have a harder time accepting his father, because he considers him to be his role model.

When we met for dinner, the father looked extremely tense. (He later told me that he was so uptight that he thought he would surely throw up.) Dinner started out extremely well. Both Joan and I visited with Steven. He was very polite, and each time he spoke to either of us, he addressed us as ma'am -- so far, so good. When the time came to reveal my secret, I asked him if he remembered meeting an older fellow named Don. He responded that he had recently met one of his folks' friends by that name. Then I told him that Don and I (Lucy) are the same person. What followed was an exchange that I never would have predicted. He exclaimed, "No way!" Then after several further exchanges where he steadfastly refused to accept what I was telling him, he said he was certain that his parents and I had conspired to play a practical joke on him. Several minutes of futile exchanges followed, where each of us tried to convince him that both Don and Lucy are me, depending on how I am dressed. Next, I produced my Transgender ID. It shows pictures of me both en homme and en femme. However, their son dismissed it as a "computer trick." In desperation, I finally resorted to lowering the pitch of my voice, but he still had doubts about whether to believe me. After several further exchanges, where I explained that I am a cross-dresser, he finally accepted what I was telling him.

Now, it was the mother's turn. She explained that Steven's father also cross-dresses, and he replied, "So?" His mother then asked him if he was "OK" with this, and he said he was. Steven also assured his parents that it was all right for his dad to dress when he was home. Steven's only condition was that his father refrain from doing so while his friends are at their house. Then, he turned to his father, and reminded him that he had promised to help him with his homework when they got home.

The following day, I talked with both parents. They both said their son's response had been entirely positive after they got home. In fact, Steven had said that he now had more respect for his father for having told him. He further said that he had always considered his father a "geek", and he was glad to discover that his father was a more real person who actually had problems. His only reservation was that his parents should have told him sooner. Steven also told them that before they told him last night, he didn't have the slightest suspicion that his father might be a cross-dresser.