 Have these items handy too, for preparing nails and during the manicure.
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Rho Tau Newsletter
March, 2001
Lucy's Window addresses the need to Get Over It! |
Joan and Lucy respond to FAQs! |
Bobbi: Nurture Your Nails! |
The Afterglow |
Shopping Trip Tips |
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Bobbi's Eye on Beauty and Fashion
Nature may not have given you perfect nails, but that's nothing a little nurture can't fix. Puns are the spice of life! Our discussion this month identifies the most common problems we have with our nails and offers some on going solutions for them. Though there may be some repetition from the previous month , it is worth reiterating.
.SPLITTING NAILS: Even healthy nails will break if you treat them like power tools. Avoid using your nails to pry, pop, or otherwise dislodge things, and keep them hydrated (which, in turn, makes them more pliable and less prone to breakage) by applying moisturizer after washing your hands.
THIN NAILS: Blame genetics for weak, flimsy nails (many people who have them also have fine hair). Dermatologists recommend taking vitamins like Biotin and vitamin A for stronger nails. Prevent breakage by keeping nails short and using a nail-hardening base coat. Try: Revlon Firma Nail Extra-strength Base & Topcoat. I have found that Sally Hansen Maximum Growth works very well to add strength and condition my nails. Also proper regular filing (discussed later) strengthens nails.
RIDGES: Irregularities are often the result of an injury to the cuticle or nail bed. To remove, use a buffing stick, being careful not to take off too much of the surface of the nail. Use a ridge-filling base coat to create a smooth surface.
YELLOW STAINS: Putting colored polish directly on a naked nail can cause yellowing, particularly if you use dark colors. Protect nails and prevent discoloration with a base coat. To remove stains, run a soft buffer over nails or soak hands in a solution of water and hydrogen peroxide. A good cleaning with a nail brush followed by both a buffing and soaking with hydrogen peroxide solution have worked well for me.
Using these techniques regularly will vastly improve the condition of your
nails and make manicures so much nicer. A perfect manicure begins with good care
followed by having the right tools. If clothes make the woman, then tools make the
manicure. These will help you clip, file, and buff your way to perfection.
| Have these items handy too, for preparing nails and during the manicure.
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Next month we
start the actual manicure
Get that toolbox ready and
Stay conditioned until then
Hugs,
Bobbi
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Get Over It!
By Lucy Stone
Have you ever attended a chapter meeting and found yourself wishing that you could do something to help another member to gain insight into herself? Perhaps it was
Everyone reading this article probably can add to this list. I am not talking about the sister who realizes her problem, asks for help, and gets on with her life. I am referring to the member who seems to be stuck in time and recites the complaint as if it were a mantra month after month. How do you get such a person's attention? It gets very frustrating trying to help people who seem to be listening but never change.
One wonderful Tri Ess sister has come up with an idea for delivering a forceful message to such a person. She says that she gets so frustrated she feels like shouting, "Get over it!" every time a member of her chapter begins to repeat a never-changing list of problems. Later, she said that while she was shopping, she found a pillow with "Get over it" embroidered on it and wished that she had bought it. Then, she could take it to meetings where she would hold it ready to react by hitting the offending member with it.
This reminds me of the approach a friend of mine uses to get the attention of his old mule. When other methods fail, he takes a two by four and hits the mule over the head with it. He says he doesn't have to use it very often, but when he needs it, it is invaluable. Our Tri Ess sister's idea has merit, and perhaps it would work except in the most extreme cases, but what could be done then?
While most of us have experienced someone who fits the type of person described here, fewer of us would admit to having ever been guilty of such behavior. Unfortunately, the very members who would benefit from either the pillow or the two by four between the ears, probably consider themselves in the latter category and are totally unaware of how much distress they cause. Nevertheless, they are the very ones who need help most. We all need the strength to be patient and never give up looking for the means to help each of them to "get over it".
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Our Thoughts on Cross-Dressing
By Joan and Lucy Stone
Because we have been happily married for 42 years and coping with cross-dressing for 41 years, we are frequently asked how different aspects of cross-dressing appear to us. We decided to compile a list of questions that we frequently have been asked by both CD's and wives and to provide our views. For each question, each of us has expressed our individual opinions. We hope our thoughts will help others who are currently trying to cope with the reality of cross-dressing in their lives.
Question: What differences do you see in the personalities of Don and Lucy?
Joan: I don't see any difference in personality as such. His voice and gestures are softer, but that is not a change in personality. I just know I can get his attention much quicker when he is dressed as Lucy.
Lucy: I am very much the same person. The only thing I have ever done is try to make certain that my mannerisms and voice fit with the way I'm dressed. When I was an army officer, I tried to walk with a military bearing and conduct myself as such. When I was a graduate student, I dressed like one and had long hair. In the same way when I am dressed as a woman, I try to look and act very much like a lady.
Question: When Joan and Lucy are out together, how do you feel when people say they don't know which one of you is the genetic woman?
Joan: I am very glad because that means Lucy is doing a good job projecting her femme persona. It also makes me feel good that all the time we spent to help her learn how to express herself is paying off.
Lucy: For a long time, I was concerned that Joan would be offended. However, she is very secure in her femininity, but I was doing her an injustice when I thought it would bother her. Now, I feel that it is a form of validation that my appearance is that of a woman.
Question: How did you feel about going out in public before Lucy could readily "pass?"
Joan: I don't remember going out when Lucy did not pass. She worked very hard to pass so that she did not embarrass herself or me.
Lucy: Until I really gained confidence, I sometimes felt insecure and always was a little concerned that I might be "outed". However, I don't ever remember being concerned enough to not want to dress unless there was not an obvious reason that I shouldn't.
Question: When you are out together as two women, does it takes away from your capability to enjoy each other's company?
Joan: No. I really enjoy being with Lucy. When we go out together it is as if we are best friends (which we are.) She has some great ideas of things to do and places to go. Most of them much better than I would suggest. There are times; however, that I really do enjoy being escorted by Don and Lucy is very good at letting this happen frequently. And his children and grandchildren all enjoy Don very much. He is their buddy, mentor and friend.
Lucy: We have had and continue to have great times together, both when I am dressed as Don and when I am dressed as Lucy, and I would never want to miss out on any of them.
Question: Do you consider cross-dressing to be a blessing or a curse?
Joan: A little of both. When we were younger and had no one to talk with except each other it seemed as if this was a curse. And I worried that if he did not pass that we would be discovered and we would loose everything. However, as time has passed and we have made a lot of wonderful friends in the CD community it has turned into a beautiful blessing. I now can say that I truly enjoy Lucy as much as Don.
Lucy: For too long, it seemed like a curse because I felt guilty that I was not the "man" that my wife deserved. When I finally listened to her, the situation began to change, and I now give thanks to God in my daily prayers for this wonderful blessing.
Question: Do Lucy's feminine gestures and feminine voice cause problems in your relationship?
Joan: No. I am glad when she dresses as Lucy that her gestures and voice are feminine. However, when it comes to romantic moments I am glad that Lucy can go away and leave Don. He is very good at knowing when I need Don and when Lucy can come forth. Plus we discuss all our outings well ahead of time so we know exactly what we are going to do.
Lucy: No. In fact, I think Joan and I both are more comfortable knowing that I appear to be a "normal" woman when I am wearing my "Lucy clothes". Besides, we both are secure in our relationship to each other. Our happy marriage and our relationship with our two sons and six grandsons are the best evidence of this.
Question: Do you think that it is possible for Lucy to have any idea how a genetic female feels?
Joan: Not really. She does try. When we were growing up society kept the boundaries of male and females so far apart that it was difficult to even try to understand the others feelings. Now, we both try and I think we come close, but not fully on the mark.
Lucy: Not fully. I have never experienced the bodily functions that are unique to a genetic female nor did I have to grow up with the limitations with which Joan had to cope, but my desire to dress in pretty clothes and emotional sensitivity appear to be little different.
Question: How would you feel about Lucy cross-dressing full time?
Joan: I would not like that at all. I think that we would miss out on a lot of wonderful times with our children and grandchildren. I think some of our friends might not be in the least understanding about cross-dressing. There is too much enjoyment on both the male and female side that it would not be at all good for him to only express one side at the expense of the other.
Lucy: I think it would be terrible. I never want to bar myself from experiencing the wonderful enjoyment that I derive from being a husband, father and grandfather. It would be as bad as not expressing my feminine side by not cross-dressing and losing out on the wonderful times that Joan and I have when we go out as two women who are best friends.
Question: Do you feel that a male who wears feminine clothing is making a mockery of femininity?
Joan: Not in the least. I think a cross dresser is only dressing to express his feminine side. This is something that our society has denied, and a cross dresser needs to express it in the best possible way, cross- dressed.
Lucy: I don't and that certainly is not my intention when I cross-dress. I enjoy wearing feminine clothing, and by wearing it, I can give expression to my feminine side
Question: Do you believe that your relationship has suffered because of cross-dressing?
Joan: Not in the least. I feel that ours has actually been strengthened as we have struggled with the cross-dressing issue. We have been come closer to each other in our strengths and have learned lessons from the cross-dressing experience that have helped us in all aspects of our lives.
Lucy: No. Our relationship has grown closer over the years, and I feel that cross-dressing was just one of the many challenges with which we have had to cope.
Question: If you knew when you were young what you know now, what would you have done differently?
Joan: I hope I would have relaxed and enjoyed his cross-dressing ever so much sooner. Perhaps, I would even have helped our sons to acknowledge and accept it sooner.
Don: I would not have spent so many years feeling guilty about being less of man because of it. Rather, I would have been able to acknowledge my feminine side as an asset and more fully benefited and permitted my family to benefit from my appreciation of the sensitivity that accompanies it.
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Jessica Frances
This morning finds me basking in the warmth of the most incredible sensation I have ever experienced. The tears of joy will not stop. I became a whole, complete person last night. The afterglow is strong; 50 years of pain and loneliness are gone.
“You look darling, may we come in?”
“Yes, please,” as I try to summon my courage.
“You look absolutely beautiful. Now, chin up, shoulders back-go knock them dead, kid.”
The noise level is thundering. I notice drops of moisture falling on my sweater.
It is so poignant; I am unable to speak. My sisters come from
everywhere with hugs.
During the break, I announce that I need to get my luggage from my car. Friends ask if I want an escort. No, I think I’ll go by myself. As I walk through the crowded lobby, no one notices. I go through the doors and walk into the cold, night air. I feel different. What is happening to me? I get my luggage and walk back to the front door of the hotel. The security officer smiles and says:
“After you, sir.” He has the same look on his face as the security officer at the hotel.
God bless, dear sisters.
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By Joan Stone
Have you ever wanted to go shopping but wondered what to wear? Here are
some simple dress guidelines for trips to the shopping center.
1. Casual wear (slacks or skirt with sweater or blouse) is GOOD.
2. Business wear (dressy skirt or slacks with blouse or skirt with blazer or
suit) is GOOD.
3. Dress for social occasion is NOT GOOD...DO NOT go to the shopping
center unless you
want to call attention to yourself. That evening gown or party dress will attract a
LOT of attention.
4. Subtle makeup is best. You must have adequate coverage, of course.
But makeup should be appropriate for the outfit you choose to wear while shopping.
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