Rho Tau Newsletter
June, 2001
More Foot Facts |
NTAC LOBBY DAYS |
Why It Is a Seasonal Thing For Me |
10 Things Women Over 40 Should NEVER Do! |
Outreach on a University Campus |
Minutes from the May Rho Tau Meeting |
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Bobbi's Eye on Beauty and Fashion
As I promised last month here is something for you aspiring foot models. Its a tuff life but somebody has to do it. To follow we will get those toes all polished for their spring debut.
Secrets of a Foot Model
Get weekly pedicures. Wear fabulous shoes. Have people literally kiss your feet. Welcome to the life of a foot model. Though the job has its perks ("Twiddle toes for 300 bucks an hour? Sign me up!"), pros Ellen Sirot and Laura Gens explain the real rigors of having picture-perfect feet-and dole out some sole-saving tips.
1 For silky-smooth feet, wear Vaseline and socks to bed every night-even in the summer. For extra softness, Sirot wraps Vaseline-covered feet in plastic bags ("the kind you put lettuce in") and Gens slathers on diaper-rash ointment ("your feet will feel like a baby's butt!").
2 Sirot's feet are insured (she won't say for how much) against "all acts of God." To keep her feet unblemished, she doesn't even dance. Says Sirot,"If I go to a wedding, I always wear heavy-duty shoes."
3 Wear shoes one size too big to prevent chafing. Gens likes Birkenstocks or New Balance sneakers. Sirot wears clogs or sneakers, even to black-tie events. If she must wear heels, she limits standing time. "I have made my husband carry me to the car," admits Sirot.
4 To exfoliate,
rub a mixture of sugar and olive oil (Sirot likes extra-virgin) on feet after
showers.
Rinse, then pat dry. Feet will feel velvety, and, says Sirot, "You'll smell like a
salad." but Emerill will love you.
-SUNA CHANG - Allure magazine, June 1999
OK lets go! First the been there done that part. Last month we learned these steps:
1. Use toenail clippers to cut the nail straight across. Then
round the edges slightly with an emery board.
2. Soak your feet in warm water for ten minutes to soften skin.
3. Buff away tough, dry skin using a pumice stone or foot file.
4. Put lotion on nails and cuticles, then gently push back cuticles along base and sides
with an orange
stick or cuticle shaper.
To polish - the basic idea - read the pro tips before you go on:
5. Clean lotion from nails using nonacetone polish remover to
prevent polish from bubbling.
6. Separate toes (I prefer using the preformed foam rubber gadget - inexpensive and easy)
, then apply base coat and polish in even, lengthwise strokes from base to tip of toe.
Oh, but what colors are
best. Like Outback Steakhouse, there are no rules, just go with your
feelings. Spring and Summer flowers will give you some ideas. Be bold, don't even paint
all the same color. Add designs using decals. Have fun! Here are some popular
spring/summers shades:
Pink (soft pastel} gives nails a just-buffed appearance.
Warm, peachy neutral for a tasteful, subtle pedicure.
Shimmery apricot that works on pale or tanned skin
Coral nail polish complements deeply tanned or dark skin.
7. let polish dry (wait twenty minutes to be really safe).
8. Erase mistakes with a cotton-wrapped orange stick dipped in polish remover.
But what if I boo boo?? Much like when we did the manicure, try these Boo Boo Busters.
If you're like most of us, that is, not steady-handed, the safest bet is to wait five to ten minutes before following these tips:
Wrap an orange stick in cotton, dip it in nonacetone polish remover, and carefully trace the skin around the nail, rolling the orange stick as you go so the cotton stays clean.
To fix smudged polish, dip your finger in remover and lightly tap the area to smooth it out, wait a minute, then apply topcoat.
To clean up a botched polish job without remover, take a hot shower or soak feet-the polish will peel right off the skin.
How'd that make you feel?
Showin 'em off right now aren't you?
Keep on dancing and I'll see you next month
Bobbi
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By
Heather
During the early part of this year I was engaged in a discussion with one of my
girlfriends. We were talking about various projects that we might get involved in
that would be of benefit to the transgender community. She mentioned to me that she
had heard of an event called Lobby Days. She informed me that she was not
fully aware of what it was all about but that it was scheduled for sometime in May.
My friend stated that she was already committed during May and had not followed-up on this
event.
Having no commitments of my own scheduled for this period, I began to search for
additional information. This search led me to the National Transgender Advocacy
Coalition (NTAC). I carefully read the information that they presented on their
web-site. I was impressed by their efforts on behalf of the TG community and decided
to join the organization. I requested all the information that they could send to me
regarding the up-coming Lobby Days event.
I was informed by NTAC that the event would begin with a strategy and planning meeting on
Sunday, May13th at a hotel in the suburbs of Washington DC. The actual Lobby Days
would be the 14th through the 16th of May..
On May 13th I donned my best “Sunday go to meeting outfit” and proceeded to the
hotel to attend the scheduled strategy meeting. About a half dozen other girls were
already in the room when I arrived. I chatted with the other girls as the room
quickly began to fill with others. I learned that many of the girls had come from
the far reaches of the country (Calif., Oregon, Nebraska, etc) to take part in the event.
Several of the girls had “National recognition” such as Peter Oiler and
his wife.
The meeting was called to order about 4:00 PM. The first order of business was for
all of us to introduce ourselves. After the introductions we were given an overview
of an informational booklet that had been prepared by Vanessa. This booklet would
serve as our focal point during our initial conservations with various legislative
delegations. The booklet was divided into sections (2 –3 pages per section) that
provided a description of transgender terms, medical studies on the cause of
transgenderism, statistical studies of transgender society, and personal stories by
selected transgender girls. We were also provided with a list of several bills
currently open in the House and Senate that deal with transgender rights. These
would be the items of legislation that would be our focus. The orientation concluded with
the presentation of a “mock interview” to prepare us for anticipated
questions and to provide us with appropriate responses.
We were then assigned to “teams” and provided with a list of delegations that we
were to visit on Monday morning. As a newcomer with no previous lobby experience, I
was assigned to go with Chris and Sara Ann (both fellow Virginians). Our team
decided to meet in the lobby of the hotel at 8:00 AM on Monday. We would take the
Metro into DC and set up at the central meeting place established in the cafeteria of the
Rayborne Building.
Chris and Sara Ann shared a room in the hotel while I commuted to the hotel from my home.
During the drive home that evening I was filled with excitement and anticipation of
the upcoming weeks activity. That night I hardly slept at all. I rose early,
dressed, made the two hour drive to the motel, and was in the lobby waiting by 6:00 AM on
Monday morning (thank God for coffee!)
As the girls began to come down from their rooms to the lobby area, I began to notice a
trend in their attire. All of the girls were dressed appropriately in business suits
or conservative skirts and blouses. All of the “new” girls (myself
included) were wearing short to mid-height pumps coordinated with their outfit.
However, all the experienced lobbyists were wearing sneakers! It would not take me
long to find out why!
Shortly before 8:00 AM Chris and Sara came down from their room and we were on our way.
During the day we visited 12 different legislative delegations. Firm
appointments were not established for many of these visits and we only got to talk to 6
Legislative Aides. We did leave informational packages at each stop and will
follow-up our visits with personal letters in several weeks.
On Tuesday we concentrated our efforts on the Senate side of the Capitol. We visited
the offices of Senators Allen and Warner of Virginia and spoke at length with their
Legislative Aides. We spent the remainder of the day visiting several other
Senatorial offices. During this second day I began to feel more and more comfortable
with the Lobbying presentation and on several occasions I was assigned to carry the
discussions.
Chris and Sara could not stay for the third day of lobbying and I was sent out on my own.
I was assigned another 12 offices to visit. Despite the fact that I did not
have appointments to see any of these legislative delegations, I was granted interviews in
9 of the 12 offices that I visited. Most of the interviews went quite well although
some of the Deep South delegations proved to be set in their opposition to the proposed
legislation.
When I finally returned home that evening I was exhausted. Over the course of the 3
days I had visited 30 legislative delegations. I estimate that I walked
approximately 5 miles per day and, despite changing to sneakers after Monday, I have the
blisters to prove it. I spent the entire day Thursday writing up critique sheets for
all of the delegations that I visited. These were forwarded to NTAC for evaluation
of the support (or lack thereof) that the legislation of interest has in Congress.
Over the next several weeks I will be writing follow-up letters to all of the delegations
thanking them for their time and urging them to support our legislation.
Rather than discuss the conduct of each legislative interview, I would like to present an
overview of the pre-conceptions and educational process that was accomplished during the
interviews.
As we entered each legislative office, we were greeted by the receptionist. This
person was always very cordial and polite (that’s their job). However, you
could read in the expressions on the faces, that some of these people had some misgivings
about our presence. On the occasions where the Legislative Aide was not available,
we often made a short form of our presentation to this person so as to ensure that the
information package that we provided was forwarded to the proper Aide. Upon
listening to the summary we provided, the misgivings expressed earlier were often replaced
with a warm smile and an invocation for the success of our endeavor.
The interviews with the Legislative Aides were interactive and the misgivings only seen on
the faces of the receptionist were now expressed. Many Aides admitted that they had
no knowledge of the transgender community. Many of the Aids related to us that the
only time they had seen a TG person was on the Jerry Springer Show. We would
immediately assure the Aide that those kinds of TGs do not exist. As the
interview went on, we would explain the various groups that fall under the TG umbrella and
our own particular status under the umbrella. We would point out personnel
hardships and sacrifices that we have made and detail some of the personal stories
found in the information package. We found that most of the Legislative Aides were
shocked to learn that as a group we are currently excluded from the protection provided in
current Civil Rights Laws.
At the conclusion of our presentation most of the Legislative Aides indicated that
they would recommend endorsement of our concerns to their respective Representatives or
Senators.
During the 3 days we were in Washington, we had the opportunity to interact with
the public as well as Legislative Aides. For the most part, the public seemed
more preoccupied with their own agenda to pay much attention to us. During times
when we did have to interact with the public (lunch, taxi), they were very polite and
kind. One taxi driver went so far as to tell me I had “sexy” legs!
During the entire three days I was referenced as ma’am or miss, not once during this
time was I referred to as “sir” (it was heaven!). On several
occasions as we were walking the halls of the congressional buildings, people came up to
us and made such comments as “you go girl”, and “give em hell sister”.
I would characterize my activities during the week as being an overall success.
While there were no firm promises as to the success or failure of the legislative issues
of concern, there was a high degree of success in the element of education of both the
public and legislative delegations as to who and what we are. The element of
education that we conveyed is considered to be just as important to the cause of
transgender society as is the legislation.
My heart is filled with pride and confidence for having the opportunity to meet and work
with so many extraordinary women. I have gained friendships that will last me for
the rest of my life and I feel that in some small way I have contributed to what will
someday be a full cultural acceptance of the transgender community.
God bless you all…GET INVOLVED!
Return to top 10 Things Women Over 40 Should NEVER Do!
I don't recall where I found this article, but I find it appropriate to all women and
aspiring women. "10 things women over 40 should never, ever wear" - Under 40 too
ladies.
1. The stiff, long A-line denim skirt that seems like a good idea but isn’t. It
spells M-A-T-R-O-N-L-Y.
2. Decorated sweatshirts with matching pull-on pants that look dangerously close to a
toddler’s playsuit.
3. Bare feet in high heels with jeans are more dated than a winning football team.
4. Black sheer hose with jeans. Jeans are made from a coarse rough fabric. Wearing nylons
with them is like wearing running shoes with an evening gown. Don’t do it.
5. Ill-fitting bras. Avoid that
“breasts-spilling-out-of-the-cup-and-jiggling-when-you-walk look"
by getting a bra with a fuller cup. You’ve passed the demi-cup phase of your life. In
our case its the breastform spilling out, I hope.
6. Clothes too tight. Wear a size bigger to look a size smaller.
7. A belt that’s cracked and worn at every hole. By looking at the damage to the
holes in the belt we can tell that you’ve climbed up and down the scale weight-wise.
That’s OK, but wear a belt that’s not showing the wear. Your belt should fit in
the middle hole. Usually there are five holes; fit the belt so the notch is riding in the
third hole.
8. Ripped, stained, faded clothes shouldn’t see the light of day — except for
washing the car. You don’t need a whole wardrobe of these clothes, however; just an
outfit or two will do for painting the house, gardening or camping.
9. Hand-me-downs from your sister if they aren’t you! Wearing other people's rejects
should be avoided unless they make you feel like a queen.
10. Your clothes from high school even if you can still fit into them. Join this decade
with a few well-chosen pieces and you won’t look like you’ve been locked up
somewhere for years. You’ll look fresh and with it, and you are!
Enjoy the summer!
Bobbi Jean
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Why It is a Seasonal Thing for Me By Jamie
Even though I have lived in the southeast for thirteen years, I am definitely not a Southern lady. You see, southern ladies perspire. And even when I transform myself into a southern girl, beneath my frock and behind my makeup, I am still the northern guy I was born. And this northern guy doesn’t perspire; he sweats!
Like all of us, I like to display the most passable feminine appearance I can achieve whenever I dress. Cursed with a heavy beard, I doubt I’ll even be able to pass. But that is only a part of the reason why crossdressing is a seasonal thing for me.
To achieve the look that pleases me, I always wear a Shapely Curves padded girdle (try one if you haven’t!), a waist cincher, silicone breast forms in my bra, and, of course, a wig. On my face I apply concealer, then foundation, then blush and powder. Then, of course, I put on support pantyhose and an appropriate outfit. That’s more layers more than I wear when I am outside in guy mode in the southern winter! And remember—I don’t perspire, I sweat!
Every year when May rolls around, this child of the north counts the days till October. October means several important things to me—that the weather will cool off and the glorious seasonal colors will come out in nature, that I’ll be able to mow leg hair rather than grass, and that Jamie will get to come out again from her summer hibernation!
If I wore nothing more than a sundress and sandals and a wig during the late spring or summer, I would sweat profusely the way I normally do at that time of year. My makeup would be an unsightly, unladylike mudslide! And, I wouldn’t be able to pass for a number of other reasons.
We all make choices about modifying body features in our feminine role. For me, that means spending a lot of time (some of it a little bit painful) in the fall and winter epilating the abundant hair on my legs and chest with touch-up shaving as needed in between times. But I have never trimmed, shaved, nor epilated the even more luxuriant hair on my arms. It is something I have always liked about myself and, even more importantly, my wife enjoys stroking it year round—something I enjoy even more than she does, I think.
My wife is very understanding of my need to dress and to participate in Rho Tau. But she doesn’t want to be involved. The one time we had a dinner at home together, both en femme, she handled it well; but she told me very clearly she doesn’t want to see me that way again because it just isn’t the way she envisions me. If she can accept my crossdressing and the time it takes away from couple time, I can accept her position that she doesn’t want to be girlfriends with me. I love her very much and her acceptance—even if it isn’t all I dream about in my wildest fantasies—is something I truly treasure. So we have an agreement—to share my body and to avoid the stares and questions she fears family and neighbors would raise—that during shorts season I let all of my body hair grow back to its natural state.
And that’s another reason I couldn’t pass (nor feel comfortable about my appearance) in a sundress and sandals and a wig—even if the wig were air-conditioned and the makeup were flash-frozen into place!
See you again in the fall, girlfriends!
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Rho Tau Minutes
Prior to the meeting Joan and Jessica gave a skit on reverse crossdressing. A prize drawing was held after the skit.
Call to Order
The meeting was called to order @7:15 PM by Lucy Stone - after a special catered dinner.
Lucy reviewed our two year history and recognized those present who were at the first
organizational meeting in May of 1999.
Happy Birthdays
Special Thanks to:
Secretary's Report
Bobbi Jean read the minutes from the April 2001 meeting - accepted as read
Treasurer's Report: Katherine Sterling
Previous balance - $1845.04
Current balance after expenses and collection of dues - $2050.04
Old Business
Nominations were closed with no new nominees. Nominees as listed were voted in by members present.
New Business - none
Announcements
Adjournment - Meeting adjourned at~ 8:00
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by
Heather
Several months ago my girlfriend (Laura) told me about a group located in Silver Springs
Maryland called TGEA (Transgender Education Association). Because they meet on the
1st Saturday of each month, I thought it would be an ideal diversion halfway between my
monthly 3rd Saturday meetings at Tri-Ess.
After going through the initiation process which is very much like Tri-Ess (phone
interview, personal interview, and sponsor recommendation), I joined the Association in
February 2001. The group is rather large (40 – 50 per meeting) and is primarily
composed of crossdressers and their significant others. Others within the umbrella
of transgenderism are also invited to participate in the organization.
At the February meeting Sarah, the outreach director, announced that the University of
Maryland at College Park had been in contact with her. The university asked if TGEA
could provide several girls that would be willing to speak to one of their psychology
classes. Sarah asked for volunteer speakers from the girls present at the meeting.
Not being one to shy away from such an opportunity, and always ready to “tell
my story”, I volunteered! Three other girls also volunteered.
Sarah seemed pleased with the response and with the make-up of her group of volunteers.
In addition to myself, we had one drag queen, one cross-dresser, one transvestite,
and one transsexual. She felt that the composition of the group would provide for
all aspects of transgenderism to be represented and discussed and that the class would
benefit from our diversity. The date of the activity was set at 5:30 PM on Monday
4/30/01. Sarah informed us that the class would number approximately 120 students.
Most of the students were juniors and most are majoring in psychology.
Over the next several weeks Sarah provided additional details as required; to include
travel directions, a map of the campus, name of the building and room number of the
classroom where we were to speak, and parking instructions. We were instructed that
each of us would be required to give a 10-minute presentation on transgenderism. We
were instructed that were no boundaries on what we could discuss but were not instructed
as to what specifically each of us was assigned to discuss. At the conclusion of our
presentation, the students would be provided time to ask questions. Because the
nature of our discussion could be deeply personal, we were directed that it would be our
decision to respond or not to respond to the student’s questions.
On the day of the presentation, I managed to “get sick” at work about 11:00 AM
so that I would have enough time to properly get ready. I was also a bit leery of
the Washington DC traffic and allowed myself 3 hours to make the 80 mile journey from
Fredericksburg Va. to College Park Md. I decided to wear my pink suit (I wore it to
our February meeting) but, because it was such a beautiful warm day, I wore white heels,
stockings, and purse. I was even careful to hang the suit jacket during the drive so
as not to arrive looking “frumpy”.
Needless to say, I encountered no traffic at all and arrived at the campus an hour and a
half early. I parked my car, went to the building and found a nice place to wait in
a “commons” area located in front of the building. While I was
waiting, several students came over and greeted me. I took this opportunity to
practice my presentation while answering their questions. By the time several of the
other girls arrived, I found I had a group of about 20 students gathered around me.
The students thanked me for answering their questions and wished me luck with my
presentation. Two of the girls gave me a “hug” good-by.
When Sarah arrived we went inside the building to the classroom and waited outside for the
class to be seated and to come to order. As the students passed us going into the
class, we were given some very “strange” looks. We could observe the
students whispering to each other and pointing in our direction and giggling. Maybe
this was a mistake!!
The instructor motioned for us to come in. We entered the class and were seated on a
low stage at the front of the class. The instructor gave the class a brief
description of the topic of the days class (as if they needed to be told) and turned the
class over to Sarah. Sarah thanked the instructor and without further ado, called
the first girl to the podium to give her presentation. I was third!
When it was my turn to speak I felt my legs turn to Jell-O. As I walked to the
podium I thought I would fall and that the class would laugh at me for not being able to
walk in heels. I introduced myself to the class and told them where I fit in under
the umbrella of transgenderism. In that instant I realized that I felt great!
All nervousness had vanished and I was awash with confidence. I
proceeded with my presentation with strength, love and compassion. I
explained to them the differences that make up the various groups that share the umbrella
of transgenderism. I detailed personal experiences as appropriate in terms of
relations with self, significant other, and children. I told them of the intolerance
and discrimination that I have experienced from society and the need for education and
awareness of our situation. I explained the commitment and sacrifice that each of us
is forced to endure just to find a small measure of the peace and happiness that each
member of humanity is entitled to.
When I concluded my presentation, I think every hand in the class shot into the air.
I answered as many questions as time would permit. As I took my seat, a
feeling of warmth and happiness overcame me. I was very happy and very proud.
When all of the presentations were completed, the students were given additional time to
pose questions to our panel. Finally, the instructor had to step in a call and end
to the questioning. The class was scheduled for an hour and a half and it had
already been going on for over two hours. Not one student had left the room!.
The instructor thanked us and extended an invitation for us to return next year.
She then asked the class if they thought they had “gotten anything” out
of our presentation. The class responded by giving us a standing ovation.
It appears that through our presentation, 120 students who entered the class skeptical and
giggling had become understanding supporters of the transgendered society’s
quest for acceptance into the general society.
God bless you all…GET INVOLVED!
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