Rho Tau Newsletter
July, 2000
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| Bobbi's Eye on Beauty and Fashion | Lucy's Window Getting it Right | Holiday en Femme 2000 |
This month we will start on applying makeup. The 3 steps below have worked very well for many. Some do the eyes before setting up the rest of the face. The advantage being, that powdered shadows and mascara fallout does not have to be repaired. If you prefer, do that. Here we are assuming that you have shaved, cleansed and moisturized.
Neutralizers
What are these? They are products often used by stage people to hide unwanted colors in
the skin, including that blue color from the beard area. They come in color ranges from #1
(lightest) on up. I use two kinds of neutralizer from Ben Nye (
Joe Blasco is another good product line . . ). First the RED neutralizer helps cover
red in the skin ( usually around the cheek, nose and forehead ). Apply using a wedge
sponge. Lightly dampen the sponge before to allow the product to go on more smoothly. Only
use enough red neutralizer to opaquely cover the red zones. We will be blending in with
foundation later. For the beard area, use a blue neutralizer that is close to your
foundation color or slightly lighter (I use #2). Again with a dampened wedge apply
liberally, but not thickly into beard area with a pushing and smoothing stroke (you may
even hear your beard rub against the sponge . . yes firmly). If your beard is not totally
covered, don't worry, we will be blending with foundation next.
Foundation
Yes, you guessed it, choose a foundation close to your natural skin color. A little darker
is ok. Lighter gives you that mime look. I like to use a round sponge here for faster
coverage. Don't forget to dampen the sponge first. Apply the foundation everywhere from
the hairline to just below the neckline, where your clothing will be. Do the eyelids,
partly into the nose, lips and ears where they will show. Blend in with a moderately heavy
stroke where you've used neutralizers to even the color. We want a uniform color and
texture when we are done. Got it? Pay special attention to areas where you have furrows,
folds or deep wrinkles. ( I use Ben Nye Medium Olive or Cover Girl Ultimate finish in
Honey Beige; both are creams, so they go on smoothly and blend easily) If you want to use
highlighting and shading do it after the foundation and before applying powder. Its not
necessary unless you want to be photographed or appear good from a distance. Remember its
only a visual effect and not truly changing your face. Highlighting is used to punch out
those areas you want to appear raised, like the bag line below the eyes or creases on the
forehead. Yellow highlighter works very well. Apply with an angle tipped brush only into
the depressed area you want to raise. Tap in lightly with a clean wedge sponge and the
again with your foundation sponge to blend. The area should be slightly lighter that the
rest of your face. Shading is used to make an area appear recessed. Mostly we use shading
to hide that male jaw. Use a shading a little darker than the foundation (I use chestnut
brown) apply using a narrow flat brush just below the jaw line back where it hinges
forward to where the chin starts and blend slightly above near the tip of the ear. Not too
heavy now! Tap blend with your foundation until only slightly darker than the rest of your
face, pulling down the neck.
Powder
Powder sets the foundation. Use a translucent loose powder and apply with a velour puff.
You may also apply powder with a large brush. I think the puff is easier. I use Cover Girl
powder. The puff I use is about 3 1/2 inches across and is available at most theatre and
beauty supply shops. First load the puff, that is, get it choke full of powder. How? Place
about a teaspoon of powder on the puff. Fold the puff over the powder and roll the puff
back and forth until nearly all the powder disappears. Dump excess back into the powder
container. Pat on the powder everywhere you put foundation. Patting and rolling helps get
an even and complete covering of powder and that's the goal, an even appearance. Reload
the puff as necessary. Let the powder set for a few minutes, then gently whisk off any
excess with a large powder brush. I said gently!
Now you have a nice canvass to work with. Next month we will apply blush, make some gorgeous eyes and kiss perfect lips.
See you next month darlings,
Bobbi Jean
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By Lucy Stone
Getting It Right
Last month, I wrote that Joan and I have come to realize that my feminine side is a wonderful gift, and I expressed my wish that everyone reading this column would also come to realize that it is a blessing. But after reading it, I am certain some of you said well that was easy enough for Lucy to say, but it sure doesn't seem like a blessing to me. So this month, I decided to tell you more about how Joan and I reached this conclusion. Next month, I plan to provide a checklist derived from my experience, and I hope it will be helpful to you as you continue your effort to fit cross-dressing into your life.
One of the most difficult parts about being either a CD or the SO of a CD is getting past the societal baggage that each of us acquired during our formative years. Until we do this, it is difficult, if not impossible to accurately assess our own strengths and weaknesses. In my own case, I considered my feminine side as a big weakness for many years. Joan assured me that she accepted me just the way I am, but I thought that I knew better. Surely I reasoned, she really would rather have someone who more closely fit the male stereotype, someone who was "a real man." The result was that my accounting of my own assets and liabilities was grossly out of balance, and I spent years going round and round the cycle that is all too familiar to so many of us: cross-dressing, feeling progressively guilty about it, purging and then starting all over again. Progress toward understanding what cross-dressing was all about was very slow because we remained isolated from other CDs and SOs. Tri-Ess didn't exist when we first started struggling with this issue, and later we feared what exposure would do to my career
After I retired, I decided to search the Internet to learn more about cross-dressing issues. As a result, I was forced to accept the fact that I was always going to be a cross-dresser, and I decided that I might as well join Tri-Ess and try to get as comfortable with this awareness as I possibly could. Joan and I joined together, and we have found it to be a very rewarding experience. It has been wonderful at chapter meetings to meet other couples with the "same" secret and be able to share experiences. Just coming together with other CDs and SOs was reassuring. The tutorials on makeup, colors, wigs and the like have been helpful to improving my enfemme presentation. Although Tri-Ess was a big help, I still had three issues to resolve on my own before, I became completely comfortable with myself and was ready to say that my second self is a real blessing.
After we joined Tri-Ess in 1997, I became increasingly comfortable with being a cross-dresser , but I still had lingering concern. How could I be certain that my cross-dressing was not in conflict with the will of God. Neither Joan nor I felt that I could get an unprejudiced answer from the minister at our church, so I turned to the Internet. There, I found thought-provoking discussions by ministers, rabbis and laymen concerning relative passages in the bible. I also found some of the best articles on this topic in the Femme Mirror. As a result of my research, I have come to the conclusion that cross-dressing is not against God's will unless it is combined with an activity that is violation of the Ten Commandments, as for example cross-dressing to conceal identity during the commission of a crime. For each of us, getting our head's right with God is something very personal, but something I believe that we must do.
I also needed to make certain that I fully considered Joan's feelings. Joan had always been supportive though often less than enthusiastic. Coming together with others and talking at chapter meetings helped me to realize that a problem still existed. True, I had always tried to consider Joan's feelings , always been very careful to make sure she knew she was the only woman in my life and made certain that she had any clothes she needed before I got anything for Lucy, but I always had been so busy feeling guilty about not being the kind of man she should have that I failed to really listen to what she was saying. She had been telling me for years that she was very happy with the man she married, and when I finally paid attention, the feelings of guilt disappeared. However, it took several years for Joan to feel certain that my purges were a thing of the past.
The third thing that I had to do was to make certain that I knew what I needed to be true to myself. I have been richly blessed with a wonderful wife, two very fine sons and five (soon to be six) grandchildren. We have been very fortunate to retire in a very nice community, and we have many friends. But I also have been blessed with a feminine second self, and as a result enjoy cross-dressing as much as possible. So the issue for me was to maintain our comfortable life style while getting the opportunity to cross-dress as often as possible, in other words to make cross-dressing additive to our quality of life.
I told Joan that I would like to cross-dress as often as I could while keeping the risk of disclosure within limits acceptable to both of us. We agreed that I would tell her when I wanted to cross-dress, and she would tell me if she had reservations. Neither of us had any idea of how well it was going to work, but we both knew that communication was the key. We have been doing this for several years now, and for us it works. (By the way, I check periodically with her to make certain she feels that we are still on track.) How well does it work for us? So far, it is working very well, and this year, I have gone out cross-dressed an average of two times per week. There is nothing magic about the frequency with which I cross-dress. It is the frequency with which we are both comfortable given our current circumstances, but we both know that it will undoubtedly change as our circumstances change. Given the many friends we have made in Tri-Ess, the enjoyment and satisfaction I get from cross-dressing, and the closeness that Joan and I have as a result of having worked together to cast off our societal baggage, I have come to feel strongly that my feminine side is a wonderful blessing. Both Joan and I believe that I have now gotten it right, but it took me more than forty years.
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Millennial Spectacular
November 9 - 12, 2000
Studio City California at the
beautiful Sportsman’s Lodge
Hosted by the Alpha Chapter
of Los Angeles
For registration or information
write Charlene Day at P.O. Box
661121, Arcadia, Ca91066
or contact Linda Wade
at (310)798-5637
E mail Linda at
l_wade@earthlink.net
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