October 2000

On The Inside  by Julianne

Over the summer months, CBS has been televising a show called Big Brother 2000, a counterpart to the popular island version, Survivor.  At the start of the show, ten people entered "the house" which is full of camera in every room and in every corner (yes, even the bathroom facilities.)  Every two weeks several people are nominated for banishment, with the viewing audience invited to phone in their votes.  Every word, every action, and almost every thought is captured by the myriad of cameras and the wireless microphones required to be worn by each guest.

One aspect of the show that I find intriguing is that reaction of the banished person's loved ones as he or she is escorted out of the house and into a full blown studio for an exit interview by the hostess of the series.  One of the things that has been said by nearly every banished guest is, "You just don't know what it's like in there!"  Even though the producers of the show, as well as millions of viewers are privy to everything that happens, it still nearly impossible for anyone on the outside "to know what it really is like in there."

As I listnened to the conversations, I suddenly realized that for almost anything, we do (our vocation, our hobbies, our family situation, ect) it really is difficult for someone on the outside to know what it's like inside.  Although we may know a person quite well, there is still a huge portion of that person that will never be known.

Now, consider someone on the outside looking into our world in Gender Land!  Most of us don't really have a clue as to why we do what we do or how we feel.  Living with a gender identity conflict, we somehow come to realize that we feel better, more like we're at home where we belong.  The people on the outside looking in through the many cameras around us (the eyes and ears of our observers) are perplexed and even put off by what they see.

For the many years that I have been involved with Iowa Artistry, my sisters and I have worked through many good times and some not-so-happy times.  No matter what happens, we try to be there for each other, to listen when a voice needs to be heard, to give a hug when a sister is feeling lonely or rejected and to give smiles and congratulations when great things happen.

As our community grows up, it has become far easier for each of us to be out and about in the feminine form to shop, dine or be entertained at a movie, concert or play.  When we enter the world of those who don't know what it's like on the inside, be on the side of generosity and kindness, even when people give us less than the respect we would like to have.  In this way, a smile and spirit of genuine caring will go a long distance towards helping those on the outside to know what it's like inside.  Wherever you go and in what ever you do, always be classy and the rest will come with suprising ease and confidence.