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AdvisorNeed Advice on something that you can't find here or elsewhere readily? That's what we're here for! Were no experts ourselves but we're willing to try to help out! Give us a shot and we will see what we can do for you. Table of Contents
(Creating Cleavage) I have just started cross dressing a few days ago. I do not dress all the way yet. I just do it at home in private. The hardest question that I have is how do you form the bests. A friend of mine said to use duct tape. Take the tape just below the chest. Then take the other end of the tape around the chest and pull it tight. do you have a different way of doing this. Talk with you later.
The QBRA works best. What are the best and worst products of 2002 ?A little while ago on The Lipstick Page board there was two very interesting threads about the best and worst beauty discoveries during the year 2002. I read them with great interest as I love to read about other peoples' favorite products and also products that just don't work for them. The reason for this is the same reason why I hurry to the magazine store to buy the latest magazines, I am on an never-ending hunt of finding the very best products, the elite of beauty products. The excitement when I make a new interesting discovery, carry it home, put in in my bathroom cabinet and find that it works excellently can't be described but the product junkies out there know what I am talking about. Likewise, the disappointment, when the product fails to deliver what the magazine, the box or a sales assistant promised, is equally deep as the excitement when something works is high. When I browse around cosmetics departments I love to check out products that other people has recommended or avoiding products that just did not work for them. In my opinion, that is info-sharing at its best. I love to read about other peoples' favourite lipsticks (hence Lipsticks of the Stars), their skin care regimes, the things they purchased at the shop yesterday and their experiences of certain products. The perfect products are out there and I want to find them. It is just a question of where they are hiding. Madeleine webmaster@thelipstickpage.com Back to TopCross dresser workplace issues, when is it appropriate... ?By Mary Ann Horton But life is not rosy for the closeted cross dresser. We live in fear of being recognized while out dressed, or of being discovered. We spend energy finding ways to lie about our weekend activities. We are afraid to pierce our ears, shave our legs, shape or polish our nails, or style our hair, because someone might figure it out. The first step to civil rights for cross dressers is not to have to fear firing or harassment if our transgender status becomes known. This is why a nondiscrimination clause is so important. Protection For Off-The-Job Cross Dressers:A few employers have chosen to prohibit discrimination based on gender expression. If you cross dress off the job, and you meet someone you know at work, or you are in the background of a television or newspaper news shot, your employer may find you out. If your employer's policy is not to discriminate, you won't be fired. You might not even be harassed by other employees. You can enjoy your personal time, dressed as you please. As long as you work for an enlightened employer.Some states and cities have codified this protection into local civil rights laws. While the courts have not yet interpreted laws such as those in Minnesota or New Orleans, it is generally believed that it would be illegal in those places to fire someone for cross dressing off the job. If the law also protects housing and public accommodations, it stands to reason that you cannot be denied housing or services based on your gender presentation, unless another law conflicts. Such laws have not been tested to determine if they protect restroom rights, but it is generally believed that restroom laws override civil rights laws. You still can't pee in a public restroom while cross dressed, if a local law forbids it. Think about what happens if a cross dresser is on call at all times and carries a pager. Perhaps she is responsible for keeping a computer system running, and can be paged if the system crashes at night and requires attention. If the person is cross dressed when paged, a reasonable compromise is needed. The system must be repaired quickly, and it should not be necessary to change to perform the emergency work, even on the job site. But a physician who is paged while cross dressed might have to see a patient, whose health depends upon a professional appearance by the doctor. Perhaps some day patients won't be bothered by seeing their doctor respond to an emergency page in nontraditional attire. The top priority for protection of cross dressers is that they not be fired or harassed for off-the-job cross dressing. Dress Codes:Employers or jurisdictions that offer protection for Transgendered people still have the right to establish dress codes. Dress codes are gradually fading from our culture as more and more workplaces become casual, but many businesses or public accommodations do have formal or informal standards.Some dress codes are sex-specific. Men may be required to wear a necktie, for example, and women either a dress, suit, or pants suit. This is legal, and while not perfect, is a common requirement in today's culture. The usual reasons for sex-specific dress codes are to meet customer expectations, avoid disrupting the workplace, or match cultural norms. All of these reasons, of course, vanish when cultural norms become more relaxed. We hope to see sex-specific dress codes become a thing of the past. Other dress codes are worded so they apply to both men and women. Dress codes for safety reasons, or for productivity, can apply equally to both genders. One well-worded dress code specifies "shirts with collars." An auto factory requires, for safety reasons, "No shorts, skirts, or open toe shoes." A dress code that permits skirts can be worded so that it permits anyone to wear a skirt: "Long pants or skirts, no shorts allowed" applies to everyone. Men in some workplaces with this sort of dress code sometimes wear skirts for comfort in hot weather when shorts are deemed too informal. Uniforms are sometimes required of everyone in a workplace. UPS employees, both men and women, wear uniform coveralls. This is not sex or gender discrimination: it's OK because the same rules apply to everyone. We would like to see continued relaxation of sex-specific dress codes in the workplace. Freedom of Gender Expression:Getting beyond fear of discovery, is it right that we should have to shut off a portion of our lives and hide it from work? Wouldn't we be more productive if we could fully be who we really are at work? One Lucent executive says "Lucent values your contribution when you bring your whole self to work."Some day, people may be permitted to freely express their gender at work, without pressure to conform to sex-based cultural stereotypes. Feminine men and masculine or aggressive women will be valued for their contributions, not judged by their looks or mannerisms. Surveys of gay, lesbian, and bisexual employees have asked them if they were discriminated against in employment for their sexual orientation (who they love) or their gender expression (how they look or act.) Large numbers of GLB people suffering discrimination reported discrimination based on gender expression, alone or in combination with their sexual orientation. One survey found 37% suffered such discrimination, another found 76%! The Price-Waterhouse decision suggests that such discrimination based on cultural sex stereotypes may be illegal, and is certainly counter to maximum employee productivity. How can you spend so much time in the bathroom? Rituals and bathrooms How can you spend so much time in the bathroom? What do you do in there? That is two questions I often get from my boyfriend. My rituals, I usually answer, to which he mutters something I can't hear. But it is the truth, it is my rituals that keep me in the bathroom. What my boyfriend does not understand is that rituals take time. Now the readers will immediately be divided into two groups. One group will not have a clue to what I am talking about or think that I am a vane air head but the second group will nod in recognition. This is the same group that encounter the questions that I encounter, how I can spend so much time in the bathroom and what do I do in there. We also love to read about other peoples' rituals and what products they use. My rituals are an important part of my everyday life. I have morning rituals, evening rituals and special rituals that are not performed every day. My morning rituals are perhaps the most important. I do everything the same way and in the same order every morning. These rituals can not easily be changed. This ensures me that my mornings are not too eventful, which is not a good thing. My mornings can start off all wrong if I for example discover that I am out of my favorite tea or sour milk or foot cream. My evening rituals basically look them same but can be mixed with special rituals. For example I might discover that my eyebrows need instant grooming or that my skin needs an extra moisturizing cream (Nivea's thick white cream is my favorite for these occasions) not to look like a sand paper in the morning. But what do my rituals look like and why do they take so much time? In the morning a shower is essential together with Aesop shampoo and rinse. After the shower I wash and moisturize my face, put on foot cream and body lotion. Vaseline Intensive Care is a definite must or I'll feel like if my skin has turned into sand paper. Aesop Wild Lime Hair Polish goes into the hair and make-up on the face, Stila's powder foundation, a lighter brown non-smudgy mascara and a lip gloss are my essentials. I have also started to wear perfume on a regular basis. I never used to be a big fan of scents but they are now a part of my morning rituals. After breakfast the teeth are brushed and rinsed. Then I am ready to face the day. In the evening I begin by brushing and flossing my teeth and then wash and moisturize the face and cuticles. From time to time the eyebrows needs to be groomed, eyelashes dyed etc. It is all a matter of demand. Other special rituals are pedicures and manicures (yes, I do them myself), exfoliation (Origins Never A Dull Moment) and hair masks. Personally I think that my rituals are fairly straight forward but why they take so long, I just don't know. Perhaps my rituals don't feel well when they are stressed. I think it is part of the same mystery that keeps me from ever learning how to pack lightly. But my rituals are not only about beauty, they are also about me. They represent the time of the day when I can completely relax and give myself some undivided attention. I need this time, as do all women, to let the day's worries go and clean the brain so to speak either before the day starts or before it is time to go to sleep. I have tried hard to reduce my rituals but that never turns out well. Perhaps they are not meant to be reduced but to develop with me. I think I like that thought. It is me, my rituals, my products and my bathroom and we will be together until death do us part. Madeleine webmaster@thelipstickpage.com
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